What to do with life?

[juliainkc]

Namaste` John and Jasmeen, standing with you in the Inner Silence.

With Loving Eyes,

Julia

[soulconsole]

Well Hello again ALL~ 
i just want to keep on writing here and heed advice.
So, this is the 5th week of school. Last week I didn't go see Him. This week i have not either.
To tell U ALL the truth I do cry over "separation" from Him. I know it is senseless,  and while I cry
I just observe. Thank God I know how to do that b/c otherwise it would be a helpless situation!!!
lol anyhow, I just get sad and mad at how He said all that stuff and how he makes me behave this way-made me fall. I mean i also have a big part in this "event" b/c I let His actions affect me. But He started it!!!!!!   

It could be something special- everything in life is!-but U know what I mean. Special in the sense that it makes
me feel like I belong and am needed. I know I already am appreciated by the ALL no matter what. See, I know
all this stuff but still cry-- I guess I do that to let out my emotions and feelings, b/c suppressing them is only
going to cause illness by messing up my chakras. So, with all the knowledge I have, I will make it through this.
I ask for guidance and don't really "seem" to get it. But I know I am cared for and loved by the Source.
Another reason I could have fallen for him is b/c he praised me like no other!!!

 So what  is this thing b/w me and Him?
God knows!-and hopefully I will know soon too   
See, what makes me argue with myself on this issue is that without me He is well off-- i mean i saw him walking once and he was normal--lol like a happy, healthy Being. I mean I am too--without him--- or not b/c i cry over him.... Dude!!!!

I need to know ---I think---- it wud help b/c otherwise am just miserable!
 and My Question to U ALL is should I ask Him directly, indirectly, or not at all?

LOVe U ALL!!!!!!!! Thank U for BEING~~  see, Even I am Him and He is me and ALL of U!!! Same Essence! Why get caught in this illusion? I need to work on seeing ALL as connected---which is why I do wanna see Him and Be friends with Him. !!! Anyone get what I am saying here? 
  heehee

[juliainkc]

Hi Beloved Jasmeen,

It is wonderful that you have the ability to see from all angles in this situation. That's who 'we all' are for you. You seeing your Self from all different angles...

Finding that the math is getting simpler and simpler ... in a 'me and my shadow' kind of view ...

'He started IT?' Hmm... you know what I would say here! Lol!! Uh huh, for now, hey, if it works, it works ... why?

Because after awhile, 'he' will shift in appearance to another and then ... and then ... mmm, different face same characteristics, can I get a HMM? here, me speaking out loud to myself! picking up the scattered bread crumbs on the trail that leads Home.

In A Course in Miracles, it is called the Holy Relationship. This refers to the idea that 'all' the relationships we are having is really narrowing it all down to simple math. 1x1 = 1. And then, 1x0=0. Who's here? The identities shift in perspective...

Who's here? I AM... yes, I sound like I am babbling and rambling, I will say though, this makes alot more sense as 'time' goes on ...

When I have been in situations where I was being a 'fuss budget' as we say here in my home about trying to figure out these things that are 'making us uncomfortable', (said in Loving humor I add, like getting entangled in the bed cloths), I have through the sitting at the table and 'learning' the math 'tables' come to understand, that my view of such things noticeably shifts with 'time'. Things look quite different to me in retrospect. I will not feel this way in 6 months, and then 1 month and then 1 week, and then ... in a moment!!  Funny but 'true'...

A walking 'backwards' experience ...

Shifting from my mind (figuring out the 'problem') into my Heart Knowing ... there is 'no problem' unless I create one.

You are being guided as you have done 'no thing'. That is guidance. I InCourage you to read the article by Guy Finley I posted in the Projections thread under Relationships.

Allow your Self to surprise You!! The shift for myself has come to this ... unlearning the lessons through the idea of pain and suffering into Being a 'Happy Learner'. I am taking each step as a 'New' one ...

It is very early in the morning here, and I was awaken to rise up by thunder at 2:53 am, my gift? Soft rain singing outside my door ...

and I see my Beloved Sister Jasmeen here and so, a Love Note arose to pass on to you ...

Love in a Box via GOD expressing as,

Julia

You know well, take what 'speaks' to you and leave the rest ~

InJoy this day Jasmeen and All ~

[Mina-Laura]

Dear Jasemeen,


I have read (I admit not thoroughly) back to the thread. Intersting and good replies you got in here.

...sigh... I wish I knew at your age what I know now... what else can I tell you? perhaps that where you are I have been also?

I don't know where to start. The bottom line is that the teacher played you on in that of stirring emotional feelings from you towards him. What he told you is called in plain old language: "flirting". Done with careful art it can lead one to great infatuation (and is clear you are under a great spell).

Now why would the teacher behave, be like this talk like this with you ?!? He is obviously attracted to you. Consciously or unconsciously ..is clear that the energy is there. I am saying that YOU have a "special" energy around you (and being in this Forum is clear that it comes from your beautiful soul!) - people cannot help react to that energy. The simple most direct nature way. In the lower chakras.

Now... i totally understand the euphoric way this is happening... the pull is irresistible isn't it? Most of your waking state .. that's all you think of. At the same time I know that no matter what advice you get, you cannot run away from the lesson you need to learn.

One BIG word of caution though. "if" anything happens and things progress further, make an effort and involve your logical brain in it. In other words (as other people stated in here) there is nothing wrong with the 'strangeness' of the status, age difference and so on. What is wrong though is loosing your-self in the process. In accepting something that is not honourable. Meaning that any relationship that has to go into hiding is beneath Self integrity. Your Higher Self that is. That spark in you that "knows" what is wrong or right for you.

And I can tell you straight out that anything that you ever do in life that makes you give up on your Higher Self, it will never have a happy ending (in the normally happy ending way of things - the lessons gained however are priceless).

So... in your place I will do my best to employ the smarter part of myself.
"Observe" your teacher. What is he about? Is he single or in a relationship?
Does he make a point in zeroing on cute students? Perhaps he is accustomed at paying compliments to other young attractive females?
"Observe" your-self. "why" do you need this? (I can tell you exactly the whys and whats ... but it would be useless) all I can tell you this is a GREAT opportunity to know yourself better.

Do not be afraid to admit to the truth. When something like this happens to us there is always some sort of need that we need to fill up. What is your "need"? sexual, affection, protective, seeking the maturity and wisdom, can it be plain the power play in that that is no small feat when you can have power over another - in the form of attraction in this case.. it can also be a 'good' diversion for you because we already know that you are a bit queasy about what to do with your life future and all, so .. see a 'romance' will conveniently and totally take off that bleak perspective...
and so on... whatever it is and when you find it.. breathe deeply and with relief! Congratulate yourself! You know why? because self-realization starts with self-knwoledge. And self-knowledge can only happen with self-honesty!

And indeed, spiritually speaking, your 'teacher' is more than a school teacher (else you would go/fall after people your age, have a regular high-school romance and so on). He is here to help you learn who you are (at least a part of it). he is the mirror of Universe reflecting back to you a part of who you are. Use it wisely! Learn who you are.

And...otherwise good luck to you.

Namaste.

[Mina-Laura]

I need to know ---I think---- it wud help b/c otherwise am just miserable!
 and My Question to U ALL is should I ask Him directly, indirectly, or not at all?

This is a tough one isn't it?? aaahhh on how we WANT/DEMAND to know...


You can do it 2 ways. 1. Go ahead and confront him. This will bring you immediate relief. 2 things may happen. You may make a fool of yourself or you may consume your urging need. Either way the end result is relief. There might be some pain...embarrassment (at the worse option)..alas... nothing beats better Ego down than embarrassment.

There is another way though however I do not rec comend it. That requires the highest form of "Courtesan" knowledge, art and magic. I don't think you are any close to that..so... Besides for that form of Art to be employed you need to have a very clear cut focus. As in what is your purpose.
You want a "life" with him? (at least a few good years of loving romance?)
LOL... ahhh Jassemeen, Jassemeen there is something special in this need of wanting to seduce someone? The ancient power of the Goddess.

or

2. wait

"time heals everything" and months.. years down the road we tend to have the best ever laugh at our own silliness.

[soulconsole]

A walking 'backwards' experience ...

Shifting from my mind (figuring out the 'problem') into my Heart Knowing ... there is 'no problem' unless I create one.

Agreed!   And THank U -- with no limits!!!   Ur posts are full of imagery and I love that !!!

And Laura Sis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THank U!! Finally I feel like someone understands me!   Ur post also made me laugh b/c of the feelings of those past events---
I guess it was kind of flirting-- but Ur question of him flirting with others made my Love for Him get even strongeR!!! He does not say the stuff he says to me to other girls ! Wow! I feel so SPeciAL now~    
And i definitely agree with U on all Ur words and suggestions. I mean seriously! U have just taken out what is in my mind. I love coming here. ---But going back to the situation: I should go to Him and feel the energy flow in my chakras. I haven't met him in 2 weeks!!! lol
So yeah. I can and should meet him b/c i know i won't get attached. I i do I know ALL of U will help me!   But I need to learn what all of this is about.


LOVE U ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GODeSses!!!  
 

[Mina-Laura]

lol.. Jassemeen

One thing please remember. You have the power.. you have the controls of the game.

(P.S. you don't know how he behaves with others, of course he will not do it when you are present...)

[soulconsole]

lol haha! U r right. But when I was in his class he didn't flirt with others even though they tried to with him...but I know what U mean.  I need to show my ego what the matter is and end its "craving." 

Love !

[juliainkc]

Hi Jasmeen and Laura,

I am really InJoying you two here!

Jasmeen, yes, he may not have flirted with others while you were in his class yet, I wonder if there are 'other' girls whom have had or are having the same experience with him when you are not around? He sounds very sensual and I sense this is in his nature, which may be why he chose to be a High School teacher and not an elementary one or college one ... hmm... just musing out loud and yes, I agree with Laura, you will gain alot from this experience and it will look very different down the road ... and really asking yourself, do you want to spend your life with him or have a 'fling'...

These are great and wise questions Laura has shared to ask right now and to also tuck away for future relationships too.

I have invited my Higher Self to lead the way by showing me if this is 'beneficial' for all parties to allow the circumstances to unfold and if it's not, then show me a 'different' way that leads to my Highest Good, step by step. And I have asked to be willing to accept my Higest Good, cravings intact and all ...

You are really a wonderful example of exercising Self Control here Jasmeen, because while you are intensely feeling the deep cravings, you have not 'acted' impulsively on them. That says alot really! High Five!! 

Much much Love to you both,

Julia

[soulconsole]

AWw ~ THank U Julia ~  I think I need to give myself a pat on the back too. 

As for what relationship I want with him: true friendship with unconditional Love.  Nothing more and nothing less.

And I don't think there are any other girls having the same experience as me with Him.
I mean I talk to my friends who are in His class and they don't look at him the way I do-- I asked my friend what
would she do if she was in my situation and she said it would be weird having a teacher like U. So yeah, they would not
think about him every day... I mean I cud be wrong but i feel this to be true~
And today i had a dream in which He was crying instead of me. lol!!! crazy no?

But yeah the dream (now that I observe it) was symbolic of my consciousness rising: okay, so I ran after him in the dream and finally caught up with him and then He was climbing a ladder and I had to too. He told me to get on it while he was already on top of it in a coming down manner -showing that maybe he was my Spirit Guide and here in my life to help me grow spiritually? I think so.  But sad part was that b/c of me we both fell!  he seemed to be more hurt than me....
I wonder what that symbolizes? Me causing my own destruction in this experience? Well, I know one thing for sure: that I won't allow it!

Thanks to ALL of U I know better! 

[Kadensnga]

Yes Jasmeen, I must second Laura in saying that; no matter what your circumstances...apply this to ALL; the knowing that "YOU" are at the control board. You are the captain of the ship.

Always my friend. True freedom is knowing this "You are in control of your experience".

Great Love to you. Let the spirit guide you young friend.

Namaste,
Kadensnga

[juliainkc]

Hi Jasmeen, 

AWw ~ THank U Julia ~  I think I need to give myself a pat on the back too. 

As for what relationship I want with him: true friendship with unconditional Love.  Nothing more and nothing less.

And I don't think there are any other girls having the same experience as me with Him.
I mean I talk to my friends who are in His class and they don't look at him the way I do-- I asked my friend what
would she do if she was in my situation and she said it would be weird having a teacher like U. So yeah, they would not
think about him every day... I mean I cud be wrong but i feel this to be true~
And today i had a dream in which He was crying instead of me. lol!!! crazy no?

But yeah the dream (now that I observe it) was symbolic of my consciousness rising: okay, so I ran after him in the dream and finally caught up with him and then He was climbing a ladder and I had to too. He told me to get on it while he was already on top of it in a coming down manner -showing that maybe he was my Spirit Guide and here in my life to help me grow spiritually? I think so.  But sad part was that b/c of me we both fell!  he seemed to be more hurt than me....
I wonder what that symbolizes? Me causing my own destruction in this experience? Well, I know one thing for sure: that I won't allow it!

Thanks to ALL of U I know better! 

I agree. I wasn't refering to your 'immediate' circle of influence. I was refering to the 'him' when none of 'you' is around ...

Your dream is very symbolic, very much similar to the 'fall' before 'earth' was formed ... hmm ...

I for some reason am hearing a 'song', by Don McClean, 'The Day the Music Died' ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAsV5-Hv-7U

You are amazing Jasmeen and yes, I am in agreement with you, You 'know' better or GOD = to good. GOD is an english term truly!!

In every 'seeming' death is Life ~

I raise my glass to you and by all means, pat yourself on the back!! Feels right yes?

I love you Sister!!

Julia

[Kadensnga]

Agreeing with you Julia and noting your revelation that 'empathy" is a catalyst for obligatory energy. Thank you for pointing this out and shedding light on this "low vibration" in "noble sheeps" clothing.

Yes. Want to get laid upon the sacrificial alter and drained of every drop of life within you?

Here's an easy way to meet that end: "Engage with Empathy".

Your wisdom shines dear friend.

[soulconsole]

Your wisdom shines dear friend.

It sure does! 

[juliainkc]

Loving hugs to you John and Jasmeen for your Loving thoughts.