Relationships and Spirituality

[Mina-Laura]

Dear Julia,


I totally agree.

"Negative emotions have a place in intimacy. They need to be released in order to be detoxed. Having negative emotions doesn't make us bad. 'Thinking' that they do is what keeps so many people from exposing their emotions.

Yes, at times people may experience negative emotions and yes it doesn't necessarily make one bad. However, is in how you deal with them, how you express them. 

As we grow we need to learn on how to express them assertively instead of just dumping them inconsiderately on others without second thought. This usually happens because people judge others through their own frame of reference. I.e. one is sarcastic then assumes what they hear in others is sarcastic as well. It is a natural instinct.

However the eternal 'unconditional love' helps in removing these walls.

A very wise observation indeed Julia:

It is when our feelings --- all of our feelings --- are revealed appropriately and then forgiven that we have a chance to heal ."

I am very happy indeed and I feel blessed by the powers to be who brought me in a place where negative emotions have no place. Period. And, only unconditional love reigns.

I embrace the path that brought me to this place.

love to you beloved Julia - Laura

[juliainkc]

Hello Dear Laura,

Thank you for sharing your thoughts here.

However the eternal 'unconditional love' helps in removing these walls.

I agree and am still unfolding in my deeper understanding that unconditional love is Love without any definitions or walls.

Authentic Love (unconditional) asks nothing in return, because it sees one complete and without any 'needs'. All 'needs' are met within each one.

To define Love is to limit it or make it conditional.

Words are finite symbols, a form of communication and the Infinite is Energy so vast (eternal or endless) that it really is a difficult concept to grasp and there are no words to measure IT or define IT.

Which is why the word 'negative' is used a symbol of communication, one which we all have used to define an idea being expressed in this finite world.

There really is no 'negative' emotion. It is all energy and various degrees of energy being expressed. We are the ones that determine whether it creates a wall or no walls, is good or bad, positive or not, etc. based on our own inner receptor of the experience we believe we are having in the moment and if we are drawn into it based on love or fear.

I do personally think we can observe anger in another and by not getting drawn into the energy of it, it does not mean we are experiencing it from within. We are the only ones who can know personally for ourself by our responding to it as we are the owner of our Self.

We tend to label negative emotions as anger, sadness, dark moods etc ...

Un~conditional Love is removing all the labels, walls and barriers and this I see for myself is an expanding experience in each moment for us all.


I am blessed to share this in this never~ending experience with you Beloved Laura and All,


Radiating Loving Energy your way,

Julia

[Mina-Laura]

Dear Julia,

Authentic Love (unconditional) asks nothing in return, because it sees one complete and without any 'needs'. All 'needs' are met within each one.

I found a good song that speaks about love and huMAN CONDITION   

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gUC4_ngVI88


Is Your Love In Vain?
~ Bob Dylan ~

Do you love me, or are you just extending goodwill?
Do you need me half as bad as you say, or are you just feeling guilt?
I've been burned before and I know the score
So you won't hear me complain.
Will I be able to count on you
Or is your love in vain?

Are you so fast that you cannot see that I must have solitude?
When I am in the darkness, why do you intrude?
Do you know my world, do you know my kind
Or must I explain?
Will you let me be myself
Or is your love in vain?

Well I've been to the mountain and I've been in the wind,
I've been in and out of happiness.
I have dined with kings, I've been offered wings
And I've never been too impressed.

All right, I'll take a chance, I will fall in love with you
If I'm a fool you can have the night, you can have the morning too.
Can you cook and sew, make flowers grow,
Do you understand my pain?
Are you willing to risk it all
Or is your love in vain?



Is a beautiful song expressing "conditional love". Honest to God listening to it brings tears to my eyes.


And on another train of thought I "asked for insight" in how to better follow with a development unfolded recently. As I was packing a box for a good friend and there was some space left I thought of sending her a book that would shed some light in he knowledge about life and love. As I prepare the book it opens at this fragment - written in bold:


"Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to "help" a man, she has no idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to him.

Even though her intent is loving, her suggestions do offend and hurt. His reaction may be strong, especially of he felt criticized as a child or he experienced his father being criticized by his mother."


The book is "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Grey Ph.D. a timeless classic mentioned here before by Freedom and if I remember correctly also Darrell.

Great sharing dear Julia



love - Laura

[juliainkc]

Hello Dear Laura,

I am up late this evening experiencing a beautiful rain that reflects my Soul here. Softly falling, peaceful, and timely...

Ah! You are speaking of the differences in the ways of relating or communicating between men and women!! Hence, your wonderful synchronicity in the packing of your package for your friend.

I was speaking of our relationship with communicating within ourselves first and then our energy extends this relationship with ourself to all other parts of ourself.

Let's commune here together sharing feminine energy here together.

Communication is interesting in this experience, it changes or alters with each experiencing of it. I read John's book when it first came out and his ex wife's from whom this book was based on what he learned by going through a marriage and divorce experience from her.
His hindsights or Insights.

I had my first encounter with this variously defined writing technique sitting on my sofa allowing the idea that I really was single again soak in. Some say automatic, some here say subconscious writing as in not analyzing what is streaming through. It is just flowing and you are following along with it, In the flow, InJoying the ride as I am in this moment like the rain falling softly outside my open door as I flow write to you.

One of the very first books that streamed through was 'Co-dependent No More' by Melodie Beatty. Excellent book at this point which led to others such as John's book you mention here.

Human Psychology. Understanding human Nature. These book came after my previous chapter in my life experience and made perfect sense to me at this point in my life. I have moved on to more taking Personal Responsibility for Oneself not based on any one or anyother's idea of what this means to them. I like being here now.

I have been led to this now point of experience from the huMan to human Psychology. It is about independently Inter ~ relating for me now.

An example of what I am expressing with you is taking this statement which I once believed in my understanding:

"Generally speaking, when a woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to "help" a man, she has no idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to him.

Even though her intent is loving, her suggestions do offend and hurt. His reaction may be strong, especially of he felt criticized as a child or he experienced his father being criticized by his mother."


The book is "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Grey Ph.D. a timeless classic mentioned here before by Freedom and if I remember correctly also Darrell.

Great sharing dear Julia

love - Laura

and now I am taking the same statement here and applying it to where I Am now, I see it like this:


"Generally speaking, when  I offer unsolicited (not asked for) advice or tries to "help" a man (another one) ~ (trying takes away another ones God given ability to help oneself), I have no idea of how critical and unloving I may sound to another.

Even though my intent is loving, my suggestions do offend and hurt myself and other ones. Another's reaction may be strong, especially if another is viewed based on my experience, felt criticized as a child or I experienced my father being criticized by my mother."


In some way whether openly or hidden this is a possible root cause of my experiencing this thought. If I say oh yeah I see it and let it go then I am not bound by it. If I say Mm hmm! 'that's what their problem is' (human psychology) then I know this is a message from my Authentic Self saying, 'This is not who you are and once I realize this I realize there is no problem because there is no difference!' It is Being openly expressed, experienced in the moment judging the quality of this thought without condemnation. allowing it to rise and pass through. I don't select this thought to feed energy into.

This is the current outcome of my experience and what it has led me to in this moment. There is no you, them, etc. I am fully responsible for my Beingness, my State of Mind. There really is no difference when we get past the pictures.

That's what has come through my crazy experience and I am sharing this with you Laura not to argue truly. I am Being Me. Define me for me. You cannot. Only I can. And knowing this and Being this I truly allow the same for you and all and that is what seems to make me appear controversial.

It is called 'Speaking' the same Language. My language vocabulary has grown into no words so much as in sensing.

I love you Laura and I say this with all sincerity,


Un or no Conditions to Love is getting past all the definitions and labels. I shared with Leila my definition of duality in the Religions forum thread based on Definitions and their meaning.

We all have our own dictionaries.

Great sharing from you Laura, it helped me more to understand you and how we were having a conversation and speaking of two totally different things!! I am laughing at myself because this is how it was at my dinner table growing in this experience from my childhood.

I love you Laura and InJoy you Being Laura,


Radiating Peace and Joy,

Sweet dreams my sister,

Julia

Here are likewise thoughts taken from a previous post I shared with All of you:


http://www.ourultimatereality.com/forums/forums-updating-in-process-t1091.0.html;msg11967#msg11967

[Mina-Laura]

Dear Julia,

Of course you are right. I should have mentioned actually that my post was not really a reply to yours but just a flow of my own thoughts at the time and whatever I was facing in terms in huMan communication.

The way I have to function for now pertains to more pragmatic issues. And this includes tolerance, understanding and compassion for those that don't function yet at the level of unconditional love. And I suppose above all understanding on how what I project might meet with intolerance and even vicious attacks. As the ultimate pourpose would be for me to not create any of that.

Of course at the next level is different. No explanations are necessary, is like love at sister/brother soul level.

"Generally speaking, when a I offer unsolicited (not asked for) advice or tries to "help" a man (another one) ~ (trying takes away another ones God given ability to help oneself), I have no idea of how critical and unloving I may sound to another.

Even though my intent is loving, my suggestions do offend and hurt myself and other ones. Another's reaction may be strong, especially if another based on my experience felt criticized as a child or I experienced my father being criticized by my mother."

In some ways this is the idea of non-involvment - like God. Love from God no matter what we are, what we do, what we think, no telling us what to do or not, what is right or not, allowing us to grow on our own at our own pace and figure out thinks for ourselves.

And when coming to function at that level it simply means total detachment from everything. Stillness... quiet. Knowing...
 

yeah Julia, great flowing Thank you!!

love - Laura

[juliainkc]

Hello Dear Laura,

this is the idea of non-involvment - like God.

Love from God no matter what we are, what we do, what we think, no telling us what to do or not, what is right or not, allowing us to grow on our own at our own pace and figure out things for ourselves.

And when coming to function at that level it simply means total detachment from everything. Stillness... quiet. Knowing...
 

yeah Julia, great flowing Thank you!!

love - Laura

Yes. We are flowing ~ 'God' is Present in each one.

InJoy this day Laura.

Love to you always in all ways,

Julia

[juliainkc]

I had my first encounter with this variously defined writing technique sitting on my sofa allowing the idea that I really was single again soak in. Some say automatic, some here say subconscious writing as in not analyzing what is streaming through. It is just flowing and you are following along with it, In the flow, InJoying the ride as I am in this moment like the rain falling softly outside my open door as I flow write to you.

I posted it here in true hard to express into the shape of words yet, I do ...

http://www.ourultimatereality.com/forums/spirit-or-automatic-writing-t940.0.html;msg10013#msg10013

[Mina-Laura]

Dearest Julia,

We are intimately known by Source who desires to give us the desires of our heart in having this One on One.

Julia, Julia of yet another dimensional shift. I have lost count how many I crossed but I know for sure only 2 since I've known you. Could have been 3.. these times are more and more subtle. With Adrian I lost track. Is strange on how things are the same, yet I clearly see how are not same as they used to be.   

I believe that Source never intrudes upon our intimity. It lets us know... ourselves.
It lets us discover who/what we are and patiently awaits on us making up our minds, then patiently awaits on us on changing our mind. Whatever we decide to do with passion is all good.
It patiently waits on us through our self induced disasters, and rejoices with us in our deepest moments of insight.

Always loving, always trusting. Always letting in that there's more... there's always more of everything. Of more happiness, more love, bliss... always giving me more than I dare allow for myself...

Can any love affair compare to this?

So, I don't know if Source knows me intimately. I'm sure it has the power, just as I'm concerned it allowes me total privacy, and when I get frustrated it prods me gently to let out what I really want, like... almost telling me: "I give you the respect of not reading your Mind, I give you the respect of/for your total privacy I will not intrude upon your thoughts no matter what. I give you the respect and dignity of (me, I, Source) finding everything you desire and delivering that to you through any possible means, but one: I would never intrude upon or read your Mind".

Then... I'm at loss of words, in my humbleness. Silly me, you see for most of my life I thought I am not loved. How foolish we can be.


love ...

[Freedom]

Wonderful thread everyOne


Laura , you said : "Can any love affair compare to this?"... this brings to mind the fact that I always used to not like soppy love songs... Now, when I change any love song to Source , rather than just another selfish human feeling lost, the song is changed completely before my eyes/ears.

I now play heaps of songs I always used to skip before, and see them as Source LOVE and it makes all the difference in the world.!!!!

And once again, thanks for your post to me in the Higher Self one that I put in.

Love you Laura ! and everyOne

          


ps, I am not insulting any humans by saying the word selfish. I didnt mean it like that. I meant it like they/us humans who dont understand source. xxxx

[NettaDrift]

Hi all
I am a bit delayed in my reply, but if you will bear with me for a bit i have some thoughts to share.  Synchronicity is amazing coz the subject of romantic relationships has been popping up over and over again in my life for about a year now. 
I believe that the yearning for an intimate relationship is as strong as the yearning to connect to the Divine and are definitely connected.  I am a very earthy person and i feel nothing that is part of the human experience can be discounted or is unnecessary in our search for great connection to the Divine.  Why else would we be here as human beings?
I read somewhere that we meet ourselves in our most intimate relationships.  We are confronted with the reality of who we are in the way that others experience us as opposed to who we think we are.  
If believe myself to be a loving, tolerant and caring person, but the person I am most intimately connected to does not experience me in that way, does that not teach me something about who I really am, or at least about who I choose to be.
We can search and reach toward greater love and reverence and tolerance, but untill we put it into practise it will never become part of ourselves.  Words without acts are hollow.
How much easier will it be to connect to the Divine source, once we can connect to our fellow souls here on earth.
I think it is the overly-romanticed, over-sexualised, small and unrealistic versions of love we see in the media that make spiritually-focused people want to separate that image from Spirituality. 
So I for one am all for romantic love as a key part of Spiritual evolution

In love and revence

Netta

[juliainkc]

Good Morning Netta and Everyone,

I truly InJoyed reading your Heart thoughts here. (The 'ssssound' playin' in the background as I write this) ... ~ ~ ~


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9j_RZDqYc4

Hi all

I am a bit delayed in my reply, but if you will bear with me for a bit i have some thoughts to share.  Synchronicity is amazing coz the subject of romantic relationships has been popping up over and over again in my life for about a year now.
 
I believe that the yearning for an intimate relationship is as strong as the yearning to connect to the Divine and are definitely connected.  I am a very earthy person and i feel nothing that is part of the human experience can be discounted or is unnecessary in our search for great connection to the

Divine.  Why else would we be here as human beings?

I read somewhere that we meet ourselves in our most intimate relationships.  We are confronted with the reality of who we are in the way that others experience us as opposed to who we think we are.
 
If I believe myself to be a loving, tolerant and caring person, but the person I am most intimately connected to does not experience me in that way, does that not teach me something about who I really am, or at least about who I choose to be.

We can search and reach toward greater love and reverence and tolerance, but untill we put it into practise it will never become part of ourselves. 

Words without acts are hollow.

How much easier will it be to connect to the Divine source, once we can connect to our fellow souls here on earth.

I think it is the overly-romanticed, over-sexualised, small and unrealistic versions of love we see in the media that make spiritually-focused people want to separate that image from Spirituality.
 
So I for one am all for romantic love as a key part of Spiritual evolution

In love and revence

Netta

I can relate to your thoughts here. I personally haven't always found it easier to connect to Divine Source while in the throes of being involved in relationships whether with a partner, children, friends or family. The Being involved with another some times can be very distracting until I go deeper and beyond to see what the cause is that I am creating in the outer picture and calling it them.

I agree that relationships do assist us in recognizing what may be a call to an area within that we have yet to allow Love into and fill.

And relating with another is a wonderful opportunity to expand in our Love drawing from within our Self first and then flowing into another part of our Self. Seeing another as One with us in Loving Acceptance in the face of our differences. Appreciating one for their differences and finding them interesting and not so much irritating. An opportunity to grow in Love's presence.

I am sharing my opening dialogue of beginning this thread with you;


"Relationships have everything to do with the Spiritual experience here even more so than studying the scientific aspects of how the Universe ‘works’.

I see relationships as more significantly important per se due to the realization that relationships are about inter-relating with our Inner Eternal Being and being able to see the Being behind its various forms and masks also known as ‘others’.

It is an excellent subject to discuss and grow together in our understanding of our True Authentic Self and Nature."


This isn't intended to take away from One's desire to experience romantic love at all. I am sharing from my own perception here, that if I do not realize where the Love really is than where am I drawing on the power to express it to another or think it is coming from?

My well and patience can run dry if I am not tapped into the Endless stream of Love's existence. And this can lead me to expecting another outside of me to fill my 'empty' spaces and it can become a 'read my mind' kind of relationship that leads to feeling misunderstood when another seems to miss my Self not communicating my Authentic Self.

It seems that we tend to think that another should know what to do or say or be to allow us to feel loved and that is what leads to hurt feelings and anger and the feeling of separation with another. One expresses Love in their own unique way and acceptance of anothers unique way of expressing what Love is to them is what leads to freely InJoying Being in relationship because you no longer have any expectations of what one must do, say or be to make you feel loved. You already host the Love within and have it to give from an Infinite Source without pre-requisites and they seem to respond with the same Love vibration in their own way as well.

How many stories are there of a woman whose idea of romance is being gifted with flowers, and pretty or romantic trysts such as an evening in front of the fire, or a surprise of a bath being ready and on and on and instead she receives her partner's idea of romance which is to fix her car, squeaky cabinets or gift her with a cordless screwdriver? Hmmm... I am laughing at this thought! I have been the recipient of such romantic gifts and even one time, it was a sack of potatoes grown by a man in his garden.

When we are secure in our Love for ourSelf then we see the romance or heart gesture of the one gifting us in their own unique way and their idea of what romance or Love means to them.

I am a romantic at heart like you and through the years I have grown in my understanding that I must first give to myself what I desire to experience in another.

I love flowers so much that I decided to surround myself with them and continue to be blessed by their beauty and having them makes me feel beautiful inside too! And yes, I have given flowers to the men in my life! They do InJoy receiving them.

I am surrounded by romance as I decided to make my home where I dwell a reflection of my Authentic Self and so I have the flowers, candles, good music and cozy things that make me feel Loved and wonderful. My haven and place to welcome all that come in to visit me.

One of the most important part of Romance that I have discovered is in appreciating the differences when they arise by maintaining a sense of humor.

Romantic Love is very much a part of our Spiritual experience. Every part and parcel of it.

Thank you again Netta for sharing your loving thoughts here.

Sharing Love's Energy along with you today,

Julia

[juliainkc]

Hello Dear Laura,

I missed this one!

Dearest Julia,

We are intimately known by Source who desires to give us the desires of our heart in having this One on One.

Julia, Julia of yet another dimensional shift. I have lost count how many I crossed but I know for sure only 2 since I've known you. Could have been 3.. these times are more and more subtle.

With Adrian I lost track. Is strange on how things are the same, yet I clearly see how are not same as they used to be.   

I believe that Source never intrudes upon our intimity. It lets us know... ourselves.

It lets us discover who/what we are and patiently awaits on us making up our minds, then patiently awaits on us on changing our mind. Whatever we decide to do with passion is all good.

It patiently waits on us through our self induced disasters, and rejoices with us in our deepest moments of insight.

Always loving, always trusting. Always letting in that there's more... there's always more of everything. Of more happiness, more love, bliss... always giving me more than I dare allow for myself...

Can any love affair compare to this?

So, I don't know if Source knows me intimately.

Then... I'm at loss of words, in my humbleness. Silly me, you see for most of my life I thought I am not loved. How foolish we can be.


love ...

Yes Laura! It seems you anwered your own question here.

Counting is a wonderful way to remain limited and I am so happy that you have lost count at least with Adrian.

I gave up doing the math Laura, it gets too complicated.

Source by allowing us to experience all these things is not intruding.

Intimately acquainted with me well yes. That is the beauty of it all. Knowing all about me because I am Source expressing as or Being Julia Sourced in Source.

Love is Whom we come From,


Sourced in Love,

Julia

[zensunni7]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r0TisNGDBB8&feature=related

[Leila]

My Beloved Zen Master,

Deep Gratitude for you blessed us today with the presence of your Great Spirit!

I resonate with your words and heart, as always, and dedicate to you this song of Life:

Celine Dion "I'm alive" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_AxVD9Ric4&feature=related

I'm more alive when you are around!

With True Love and Shining Light,

Leila

[zensunni7]

Thank you dear Leila.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vb7uPOxAlnA&feature=related