Relationships and Spirituality

[juliainkc]

Good Morning All ~

I've been sensing the subject of relationships and being prompted to bring this up in the forums here for open discussion. Synchronistically, this subject keeps arising in my 'orbit'.

I am sharing here a portion of a letter written in response to a Brother in Spirit in regards to relationships in our earthly experience;

I will say that it is this very subject that many are wondering about but hold back in bringing up because of the seemingly ‘unspiritual’ nature of it. I emphasize seemingly based on ones perspective.

Relationships have everything to do with the Spiritual experience here even more so than studying the scientific aspects of how the Universe ‘works’. I see relationships as more significantly important per se due to the realization that relationships are about inter-relating with our Inner Eternal Being and being able to see the Being behind its various forms and masks also known as ‘others’. It is an excellent subject to discuss and grow together in our understanding of our True Authentic Self and Nature.

Again, I love synchronicity and in Light of mutual sharing recently, I awoke this morning and will share the calendar reading for today;

"When we are in the midst of loss, betrayal or crisis of any kind, there is power in the words, "Be still and know I am." Truth can never be destroyed. There is no loss except in time, says 'A Course in Miracles', and time does not exist."

In opening this discussion, I am off to begin my day with this thought,

'Nothing is ever lost, only transformed."

I look forward to the contributions of all relating to this subject of relationships and the Spiritual Beings we are.

InJoy this day,

Love to All in Divine Spirit,

Julia

[Davedata]

The importance of this subject cannot be overlooked.  Thanks Julia for raising this as it is one of the most sensitive subjects which carries with it a great deal of emotions when we experience what we perceive as "betrayal or loss".  Surely some of us have experienced some form of irregularities when it comes to relationship issues and, balancing one's life amidst of such experiences can be very challenging and can surely affect our vibrational frequencies as it touches our hearts in a deep way.  My questions are:  when is it appropriate (if appropriate at all) to forgive repentant "partner" if one has been wronged emotionally? How is the divorce supposed to be viewed in Spritual terms and what are the metaphysical occurences that are likely to cause disharmony in a relationship or a marriage?

I would really like to hear some views on this very interesting topic. 

[Talker]

Good Morning All ~

I've been sensing the subject of relationships and being prompted to bring this up in the forums here for open discussion. Synchronistically, this subject keeps arising in my 'orbit'.

I am sharing here a portion of a letter written in response to a Brother in Spirit in regards to relationships in our earthly experience;

I will say that it is this very subject that many are wondering about but hold back in bringing up because of the seemingly ‘unspiritual’ nature of it. I emphasize seemingly based on ones perspective.

Relationships have everything to do with the Spiritual experience here even more so than studying the scientific aspects of how the Universe ‘works’. I see relationships as more significantly important per se due to the realization that relationships are about inter-relating with our Inner Eternal Being and being able to see the Being behind its various forms and masks also known as ‘others’. It is an excellent subject to discuss and grow together in our understanding of our True Authentic Self and Nature.

Again, I love synchronicity and in Light of mutual sharing recently, I awoke this morning and will share the calendar reading for today;

"When we are in the midst of loss, betrayal or crisis of any kind, there is power in the words, "Be still and know I am." Truth can never be destroyed. There is no loss except in time, says 'A Course in Miracles', and time does not exist."

In opening this discussion, I am off to begin my day with this thought,

'Nothing is ever lost, only transformed."

I look forward to the contributions of all relating to this subject of relationships and the Spiritual Beings we are.

InJoy this day,

Love to All in Divine Spirit,

Julia

Hello Julia and All,

'Nothing is ever lost, only transformed.

Consider that if every word spoken by one is never lost, but is still echoing throughout the Universe, it would give pause to what one does speak.
Have read previously, that a scientist had stated, that the first words ever uttered are still vibrating in space. Did a recent search and was only able to find this one.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
In fact, I don't know if you know this, but scientists say that our voices set in motion sound waves.  Those sound waves go on an endless journey through space.  Had we instruments delicate enough to do it, we could pick up every word uttered by every human being that has ever lived on the face of the earth since man was first created, because their words are still floating around the universe.  We can't recover those words, but God can. 

Recently I heard about a man in London who turned on his television to watch the BBC and he received a program that shocked him, coming directly from a city in the middle of Texas.  He called the BBC in his area and they told him they were broadcasting nothing of that sort.  After watching the program, which lasted for half an hour, he called the state of Texas and the city where it came from and said, "Have you been broadcasting this into England?"  They said, "Absolutely not."  He described the program, and they said, "That program left this station to be broadcast on a day over three years ago; we don't know how you picked it up."  Everything is out there floating around.  I don't know how he picked it up either, but it's out there. 
http://www.gty.org/Resources/Transcripts/2294
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Perhaps I need to use various key words during a search to find some noted scientists name, that might have made a like statement. In that thoughts are real, I wonder how the printed word, derived from thoughts fit into the picture!  So any sharing of thoughts through the spoken word "is/ could well be" on permanent record floating in space. Would this account for, if picked up mentally, for creative new type thoughts or inspiration! Along the same lines, if there are any negative thoughts in a relationship, they would need to be removed, in order to harmonize that relationship. All ones experiences, are part of ones spiritual evolution.
Much food for thought here.
Thanks Julia.
Be Well All.

[zensunni7]

Hello All,

I agree Talker, it is all out there, alive and well. In meditation I tell people to open their hand up push upward with some force." The energy you just pushed upward will go on forever, it will pass through this roof, into the sky and into the Universe - forever. So too will what you say, and the actions you do, so say and do wisely. "

Relationships are reflective of our inner state of growth and evolvement. A teacher once told me that the people in my life were a direct reflection of my true Self. At the time, the idea made me cringe in bewilderment.
At one level - relationships become energy battle grounds, fighting for energy dominance. The origins of vampire stories. I feel relationships do actually reflect the growth of self though. Be they lovers, friends or parents to child.
There are those that ' need ' a relationship with those in their lives. The need stems from the reality they maintain relationships to use as a source for their daily energy. Hence the vampire analogy. When a relationship built in this ideal is threatened, it often turns angry, even violent because there is a sense of loss, and it stems from the energy flow the other person has provided to them. This level of relationship is defined in sexual attachment. Love sexually based and sex used as expression of ownership, called monogamy.
Higher orders of relationship are based in desire, without any sense of need within the equation and although sexual expression is a part of the relationship, it is not the basis of desire to be with that particular person.
Higher relationships are based in harmony with ones Self as the primary relationship. As we begin to use Source as our energy source, the need for relationships disappears and the desire for them takes its place, without any need driving it.
It is why we so often hear that loving ones Self is paramount in love.
Lovers often mistake the intense feelings as emanating from the person they are ' in love ' with, yet it is actually an inner projection taking place. Relationships generally end when one grows within and from it and the other does not, or when one has been drained over and over again, and comes to realize it and leaves.
Forgiveness for betrayal comes when we realize our role in the betrayal. If we cannot forgive, then we are still seeking something from that person, to full fill a need. True forgiveness finds us treating them as if they had never done anything needing forgiveness.
I have found in my own life great peace in not needing a relationship, and not concerning myself with even desiring one. Now I find relationships with some are for a moment and complete, and years with others in the same completeness.
Its just how I see it.

WithIN Love
Darrell

[Mina-Laura]

Hi guys,

As I was about to collapse due to physical exhaustion of having a full day of house related labour, I noticed Davedata’s post. For some reason whenever someone has inner doubts in terms of forgiveness now that is a matter that cannot be overlooked, so I guess I will ‘collapse” a few minutes later : )..lol..

My dear Davedata,

Forgiveness is a must!! And not for your partner that has seemingly wronged you. You have to forgive for yourself. By not forgiving you keep a sliver cord between you and the person that has wronged you through which you are attached forever.
Forgiving does not mean condoning and accepting the wrong.
Forgiving means freeing your soul by a shadow that keeps it blinded – keeps it from progressing on the path of truth and light.
Forgiving means love – the kind of love that can see the other from a different position than the person that you are (the wronged one).
Forgiveness means the respect of allowing the other person in learning the lessons that he/she needs to learn.
Forgiveness means the humility of accepting that perhaps our partners have wronged us because they were hungry for other lessons that we could not provide.

And I could go on and on.

Anyway when I was in same doubt as you seem to voice in your questioning this helped a lot. “the seven spiritual laws of divorce” a book by Debie Ford. It spoke so much to me that I copied and printed these laws, and I would keep them handy whenever I found myself again in doubt.

 *************************************************************************************

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Divorce

It is important to know that the breakdown of your relationship is for a greater purpose. Understanding some of the basic spiritual laws of the Universe will help you to discover that there is a reason you're going through this pain. These laws will guide you through the process of healing and bring you back to a place deep inside that is filled with wisdom, knowledge, and compassion for the human experience.

1) The Law of Acceptance: The first and possibly the most important spiritual law is that everything is as it should be. Nothing occurs by accident, and there are no coincidences. We are always evolving, whether we are aware of it or not. And our lives are divinely designed for each one of us to get exactly what we need to support our own unique evolutionary process.

2) The Law of Surrender: When we stop resisting and surrender to the situation exactly as it is, things begin to change. Resistance is the number one culprit in denying us our right to heal. We resist out of fear that if we let go, if we surrender, our lives will go out of control or we will be faced with circumstances that we can't handle. When we are willing to look at our situation and admit that we don't know how to fix it, we are ready to get the help we need.

3) The Law of Divine Guidance: God will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. When you get out of your own way and let go of your defenses, you become humble. Humility is the doorway through which the Divine can walk into your life. Without humility, we believe we can do it ourselves. Without humility, our false sense of pride, or ego, prohibits us from seeing the entire situation with clear eyes. Our egos remain in charge until we step outside our righteous belief that we are independent and separate beings. As long as this myth is intact, we keep the door closed to our higher wisdom.

4) The Law of Responsibility: With divine guidance, we can look at exactly how we participated in and co-created our divorce drama. We can begin to take responsibility for our entire situation and make peace with our past. We can see how we have chosen the perfect partner to teach us the perfect lessons. Once we have asked God to come into our lives and guide us, we begin to heal.

5) The Law of Choice: Having taken responsibility, we can choose new interpretations that empower us. We become responsible for and the designer of our own new reality. We can separate from our partner and cut the karmic cords by taking back the aspects of ourselves that we've projected onto our mate. We can distinguish what our self-defeating behaviors have been and learn how to act instead of react in difficult situations.

6) The Law of Forgiveness: After we have cut the karmic cord, we will be able to ask God to forgive us. Asking for forgiveness allows us to let go of our judgments and beliefs about what is right and what is wrong and find compassion for our entire self. Compassion unfolds when we are in the presence of the perfection of the Universe, when we can experience ourselves in another. It comes with the great understanding of the difficulties and ambiguity of being a human being. Compassion is God's grace for those who ask. Once we have received compassion for ourselves, we will be able to find compassion and forgiveness for our mate.

7) The Law of Creation: Experiencing the freedom of forgiveness opens up the gates to new realities. Forgiveness breaks all the cords that keep us tied to the past. It allows us to experience an innocent heart filled with love and excitement for life. This is the time to create a new future, one grounded in your divine truth.

Free will enables us to choose the direction in which we will take our lives. To choose a spiritual divorce is to choose to use your divorce to heal yourself. You can choose to work hard and heal yourself on the deepest level, or you can choose to be a victim of life and other people's problems. In other words, you can choose to use your divorce, or you can let your divorce use you. Until you seek to find and embrace the gift of any situation or problem, it continues to use you. It holds you prisoner, and you carry it around as an open wound wherever you go.

http://www.beliefnet.com/Love-Family/Relationships/2001/01/Spiritual-Divorce.aspx

************************************************************

And now I shall collapse to regenerate!!!.. lol…good night

Love - Laura

[wavepsychic]

Hi Julia & talker

Julia it kind of worries me that you place so much Spiritual importance on relationships. I do not have close friends & when I do they don't last long. I am much more of a loner so much so that I don't really try to find a "Mate". Sure I get lonely sometimes but I try to remind myself how I am one with everyone & the feeling fades away. I don't much relate to most people at all, I am just very different then most.

In fact, I don't know if you know this, but scientists say that our voices set in motion sound waves.  Those sound waves go on an endless journey through space.  Had we instruments delicate enough to do it, we could pick up every word uttered by every human being that has ever lived on the face of the earth since man was first created, because their words are still floating around the universe.

Hi Talker. Actually sound waves dissipate as they travel through space. Even light is bent and distorted as its travels through space. Scientist know that the radio waves that SETI sends out dissipate after a few light years. They do not even make it to the nearest star providing move evidence that the SETI program is just a ET cover up to show the public that we are looking and have not found anything and they never will with SETI. We can not pick up our own voices because they are being projected into space, away from us not towards us. Thoughts however are of a higher vibration then Light & travel farther then light and are not dissipated.

We can't recover those words, but God can.

That is only because we are God & the Creator is aware of everything that can happen & is the Consciousness in which everything is said & done. In other words God is our mind that decided to say something & the Field in which the sound waves travel even if they do spread out becoming not audible.

[juliainkc]

Good Morning Everyone,

Wow! Such a variety of wonderful thoughts being shared here. I feel the loving energy and agreement in Spirit in this unfolding discussion. I resonate here with the sharing of my Brothers and Sister.

Hi Davedata,

My questions are:  when is it appropriate (if appropriate at all) to forgive repentant "partner" if one has been wronged emotionally? How is the divorce supposed to be viewed in Spritual terms and what are the metaphysical occurences that are likely to cause disharmony in a relationship or a marriage?

This is a great question and one that I sense has been shared during many intimate kitchen table conversations. Just sharing my thoughts here with you in observing the progression of my own life experiences and how I have come to change my mind throughout the process.

When I have viewed an experience from the angle of being wronged (whether parents, siblings, friends and/or lovers), it consumed my thoughts and led me into all sorts of pain, suffering and misery emotions, literally walking the path to hell in my mind. The hardest part was to let go and set the 'wronged party' free. At first, I struggled with this because in my other way of thinking it seemed like the other was getting away with something and I was not being given my due 'justice' for my suffering due to their wronging me. I was being the judge and jury of another and they were guilty as charged. I of course was innocent of any errors or wrong doing.

What is interesting is that this was seen in me as well at times, another seeing me guilty of wronging them, or if not the particular person I was judging then somehow it was showing up in another relationship. And of course I could not see that I had wronged or brought harm to another. In a sense, it was my game and rules and no one else was allowed to win.

I have found that when I listen to ego mind this vicious cycle does not end, it continues on to another scenario and so on. Ego mind is always looking to create a problem to solve. After awhile, I realized I was spinning circles and the hole was getting deeper as this way of thinking was affecting quite a few of my relationships particularly the one I had with myself and my God or Source. I felt separated from my Source of Joy, Life.

The pain, suffering and misery began to cease as I released the need to be right by seeing it my way and as I began to allow 'what is to be what it is.'

Baby steps in growing and learning Acceptance based on surrender to a Higher Power working out the Highest Good in every situation and circumstance for All involved. Took awhile for me but the results I have received are Peace, Joy, Gratitude in knowing that I am free to live not struggle any longer. We have access to a Higher Mind and Power handling all the details of the Universe. All inclusive.

I have experienced divorce and it was anathema in the church mentality and I found myself a scarlet woman to go against the grain. However, I have no regrets. This experience deepened my heart's ability to share compassion with others and created a very deep and abiding knowing Love of God presence or Source that all are accepted and loved no matter what. My relationship with my children's father had served its purpose in my life and I could let it go by blessing the experience, taking the Love, the gold of the experience with me and forgetting and leaving the rest behind where it belonged. In the past. This has kept the pathway opened to new and deeper experience.

Thank you Talker, Darrell and Laura for your wonderful Insights and Wisdom being shared here. I grow along with all of you and your expressions deepen and color my view of the picture beautifully.

Hi Wave,

I do appreciate your point of view as well.

Hi Julia & talker

Julia it kind of worries me that you place so much Spiritual importance on relationships. I do not have close friends & when I do they don't last long. I am much more of a loner so much so that I don't really try to find a "Mate". Sure I get lonely sometimes but I try to remind myself how I am one with everyone & the feeling fades away. I don't much relate to most people at all, I am just very different then most.

It isn't my intention to cause you worry. I place so much importance on relationships because it returns one to their Primary Relationship with one's Source. Our One on One. It affects every relationship from this origin. We cannot give to another aspect of ourself what we do not have within to give to ourself. How we treat others is in direct relationship to how we treat ourselves.

Self mastery. It then is not based on thinking at all. It is consciously living, breathing, experiencing from the projecting of our Authentic or True Love Nature. Peace, Joy, Bliss, Abundance of Life expressing and experiencing with all aspects of our One Self. And all differences are accepted not separated out. It's like wrapping your arms around IT all.

I appreciate you all for allowing me to express my thoughts here.

InJoy this day,

Love to you all in Divine Spirit,

Julia

[wavepsychic]

Hello Julia

It isn't my intention to cause you worry. I place so much importance on relationships because it returns one to their Primary Relationship with one's Source. Our One on One. It affects every relationship from this origin. We cannot give to another aspect of ourself what we do not have within to give to ourself. How we treat others is in direct relationship to how we treat ourselves.

Self mastery. It then is not based on thinking at all. It is consciously living, breathing, experiencing from the projecting of our Authentic or True Love Nature. Peace, Joy, Bliss, Abundance of Life expressing and experiencing with all aspects of our One Self. And all differences are accepted not separated out. It's like wrapping your arms around IT all.

Yes I totally agree that how we treat others is reflected in how we treat ourselves. However as far as our relationships being one on one with the source I am not sure if I agree. Love for another based on Attractions such as personality, sexual orientation, appearance & if the person is our over all "type" is selfish love & not pure unconditional love. This is just like the love of "food" or the love of "things" which all and all is a distraction from the Source of all things Spirit. Yes the Source, Tao IS all these things but not in pure perfection it is not. Every Religion and Philosophy in History warns us that placing Sex and Material things before Spirit will result in us suffering. So the question still remains, to love or not to love, do date/marry or not to date/marry?

I think we need personal forums like these, thanks Julia.

[zensunni7]

Greetings All,

I have never had a relationship that was not spiritually beneficial and enhancing to Self, even the most turmoiled of them in hindsight brought me to great understandings of my - Self and others.
In the worst of my relationships I was given a rare glimpse into myself, a clear reflection of how I was through anothers eyes. In the arguing I saw myself in my arguing back, my angry self.
It was an opportunity to make changes, which I did, even though the other did not.
Had I not been in this relationship I would still be wrestling with my own angry Self.

We say here, we are all connected. So in fact we are all in a relationship with everyone. When we date / marriage we are honoring I feel, a call from deeper Self. Some relationships are argumentative from the beginning, and denotes its purpose I think. Relationship is any e-motional exchange between two or more Human Beings, some lasting moments, others decades or longer. Energy's entwine, and the pain we feel at separation is the coming apart of the entwined energy, like taking a woven basket apart. Sometime it is taken apart slowly and easily, other times it is ripped asunder with little care.

But no relationship is unfruitful or wasted in the realm of Human understanding. It  brings us to the realization that the relationship we seek the most is within us. Bringing into harmony the aspects of ourselves as we seek to achieve harmony with others through relationships as well.
Hence - loving thyself being first and foremost in our lives paves the way to harmonious relationships with others.
 I have never let a chance to say I love you go by, and this is fine if I carry no agenda behind the words and e-motions. If I am saying it because I feel it, alone without a goal for the words to achieve. My children and I always say it even on the phone, and to tell you the truth, it sounds like ' have a nice day ' sometimes, yet I recall why I taught them this way, should they not hear from me again, it will be the last words spoken between us.

It is difficult for Humans to enter relationships and not seek an outcome to it, we are trained quite differently for them. To love, date, marry someone without any notion of what will come from this relationship.Even friendships carry unspoken agendas often, leading to endings when the objectives are achieved. Women in the western cultures were raised to marry, and once done - now what?  Game over, as men to have sex, again - game over.
It is up to the individual to decide for themselves, yet we tend to treat others in relationships with more caring love than we do ourselves, and this leads to resentments, leading to anger, to demise of it. Loving myself includes sexual pleasures, sensual caring of my own heart, and tenderness of Self, loving myself as I do others. Caring as much for me as I do my children, with the same understanding and patience, gentleness of spirit and velvet glove of self disciplines.

Love seeks relationships, as we seek them because it is a opportunity for Source to Love us. We forget Source has the element of Self also with so much talk of energy and terms lacking Self.

WithIN Love
Darrell

[wavepsychic]

Hi Darrel,
that is a wise interpretation of relationships from the Spiritual point of view. What about those who are uninterested in relationships? I doubt that I am more experienced then you when it comes to relationships.

It is difficult for Humans to enter relationships and not seek an outcome to it, we are trained quite differently for them. To love, date, marry someone without any notion of what will come from this relationship.Even friendships carry unspoken agendas often, leading to endings when the objectives are achieved. Women in the western cultures were raised to marry, and once done - now what?  Game over, as men to have sex, again - game over.

What about Friendships? Isn't there an agenda there too. I am currently without friends. If I don't have peers to do things together we both like then I consider myself friendless. Friends come and go & I still do not know why. Now that I no longer drive I lost the friends I used to hang out with. Others who do drive are to busy to form the intent for my presence.

[HareOm]

re;atopmsjo[s!
(relationships!)

whatever you give comes back
so tastk,
find someone as bright as you
easy right? only if you aren't bright!
but still, easy, anyway
just takes patience and perspective, you'd be amazed
otherwise you are a healer in the relationship

for instance, shook hands with a woman, seemed like we were having a love moment, but her eyes flitted to the left and she shirked into retreat from my luminosity, her home is not as open as mine,

yet, she was eager to extend a hand, where i almost never ever do, makes ya think

now,
when you throw your openness out there, you get to have a relationship with YOUR OPENNESS, it is very nice.

[juliainkc]

Evening All ~

Just sharing a flow that began while writing to a Brother in Spirit...



Forgiveness leads us out of the path to hell (pain and suffering) in our minds. It, forgiveness is an act of selflessness not selfishness. It releases us and in kind allows us to give what has been given to us, release of another or Being free from pain and suffering.

The Golden rule seems to apply here...'Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Love with conditions is; "I will love you only if you... aka adding to Love, or unless you do, be, have this for me, because I don't 'think' I have this, leading one to believe that one is incomplete..." never satisfies or brings peace, blame is one of an end result here. Taking away or subtracting from Love.

Love without conditions or expectations or limitations (no beginning or end) is Real or Authentic Love and leads to peace (or cease) of mind because nothing is being sought outside of our self that needs fixing. We are fulfilled or complete. All I Am is here now. I 'need' nothing. I Am Being.

From this position Now, I am able to have a True relationship based on knowing myself as Love and full able to open handedly give the same Love all other aspects of myself in whatever expressing image (reflection) I give to the relationship; parent, child, friend, partner and so on. I'm saying open handedly because I do not need nor have to 'keep Love', there is Love for all, Plenty to go around and left overs too. 

I agree that Love seeks Itself in relationships (we are of this Love) and that we forget that to Know This Love is to Know God, The All That Is, Love's presence Being experienced in an intimate loving way. It's easy to impersonalize This LOVE without beginning or ending BEING and call it all various kinds of 'nameless' names. I just say 'Abba'. I InJoy knowing the Eternal, EverPresent, All Knowing One in an intimate way. I feel loved and it is different from the love that I was shown in my thinking mind's conditioning based on the things Wave shared in response to my previous post.

Just sharing a transformed gem, shared with me that's been worth tucking into my bag. We are not our 'thinking' mind. If we listen to this mind, it keeps us going around in endless circles, believing that our mind is us (our separated Identity) or we are our thoughts mind chasing.

Observe the thinker with the Knower, your True Self beyond the thinking mind and then stay in the gap. Not thinking, Being.

This little gem really is shifting within me quite a bit lately as I continue to practice this more and more.

Darrell, Namaste for a wonderful, wonderful resonating expression. Post #8 above.

Wave, thank you for sharing here and participating with us in this thread. 

InJoy this evening all.

Love to All in Divine Spirit,

Julia

[wavepsychic]

Hi Julia

Love without conditions or expectations or limitations (no beginning or end) is Real or Authentic Love and leads to peace (or cease) of mind because nothing is being sought outside of our self that needs fixing.

You are right and this is why the Creator has no beginning or end! I am going to apologize to a friend of mine because I blamed her for not hanging out with me after I stopped driving. I thought that since I drove her around for two years that should could at least want to hang out with me. I should not have "thought" anything, I should have just Loved.

[Mina-Laura]

Hi Wave,

I blamed her for not hanging out with me after I stopped driving. I thought that since I drove her around for two years that should could at least want to hang out with me. I should not have "thought" anything, I should have just Loved.[/color]

So, tell me how this makes you feel. It is indeed disappointing when we think we are accepted only if we are needed.
Is never good to blame the other.
But telling the other what you feel it is advised, a lot of times what we see in others when they wrong us is different for them – they do it out of ignorance and unawareness.  It is our duty to express out that which could help them open their eyes. And you must express for two reasons.
1.   Because if you don’t you bottle up resentment inside. …
2.   Because if you don’t many at times the other(s) are not even aware of how their behaviour affected us.

The truth must be spoken!
Just remember that when you may speak your truth, to soothe your words
with peace.

We are always ready to hear the truth – but if is spoken in a way that makes us feel ashamed we tend to close ourselves to hearing it.

If I was ‘you’ which of course I am not (I am telling you just as an example) I would go to that person and I would say something like (in a totally calm detached and friendly manner without a tone of blame or resentment):
“I am sorry I was harsh with you, at the time I was hurt and upset because by your attitude you made me feel ‘used’ and that my friendship means noting to you if you only want my company when you need me.” And… who has the ears will listen. 
And you having spoken the truth will know peace.

Blessings,

love - Laura

[wavepsychic]

Hi Laura

Hi Wave,

I blamed her for not hanging out with me after I stopped driving. I thought that since I drove her around for two years that should could at least want to hang out with me. I should not have "thought" anything, I should have just Loved.[/color]

So, tell me how this makes you feel. It is indeed disappointing when we think we are accepted only if we are needed.
Is never good to blame the other.
But telling the other what you feel it is advised, a lot of times what we see in others when they wrong us is different for them – they do it out of ignorance and unawareness.  It is our duty to express out that which could help them open their eyes. And you must express for two reasons.
1.   Because if you don’t you bottle up resentment inside. …
2.   Because if you don’t many at times the other(s) are not even aware of how their behaviour affected us.

The truth must be spoken!
Just remember that when you may speak your truth, to soothe your words
with peace.

We are always ready to hear the truth – but if is spoken in a way that makes us feel ashamed we tend to close ourselves to hearing it.

If I was ‘you’ which of course I am not (I am telling you just as an example) I would go to that person and I would say something like (in a totally calm detached and friendly manner without a tone of blame or resentment):
“I am sorry I was harsh with you, at the time I was hurt and upset because by your attitude you made me feel ‘used’ and that my friendship means noting to you if you only want my company when you need me.” And… who has the ears will listen. 
And you having spoken the truth will know peace.

Blessings,

love - Laura

You remind me of Melody so much. She is no longer here but the more I read your replies the more I think about Melody. It makes me really sad that she no longer contributes to this form because of personal reasons.

To be fair this friend did stop by to "see" me once when she was dropping someone off that lives near me. She says its my fault for not asking her to drive me anywhere. Her idea of hanging out must involve a car it seems. I think a lot of people feel this way.

There is a lot of wisdom in your post. I was trying to Fast for a day and I was off balance and just moody. This is not like me at all. I started stuff with her by texting her and telling her she isn't my friend anymore. I should have ONLY said how I felt. Holding in any Emotion is unbalanced & left brain dominate. Emotions are real & we experience only there outer manifestations. These Emotions when held inside block the light that flows from deep within us. How ever thanks to your post it is NOT to late to tell ALL of my friends how I feel. I thank you for taking the time to help me Unconditionally, ~Louis