Greetings and mucho amor to all three of you Goddesses, and all 'others'... also "peace" to
DH, the seed planter of this row!
Sabatha,
I will add to these two wise women's mix
this, if you will kindly indulge this humble and sleepy follower of "Laura"

LOL:
Allowing is the key to "fore~give~ness"...ah the wonderful enlightenment about that subject you will find here among these deeply aware spirits , as I have.
The path of least resistence.
It is when you allow others to be what they are while you remain unaffected.
It is when you begin to BECOME the "effect", and not the "affect~ed"...
Allowing enables you to become a vessell of Magick in all circumstances because you become the catalyst for all situations in your life... and that awareness appears magickal to others and inspires them...
In truth; you are ALWAYS the catalyst anyway...but allowing is the begining of honing your power to be it on "purpose" , "By", and "With"
purpose.Sound practical...? Yes it's
Practical Magick. Not esoterical enough...? Try it and see how enchanted life becomes.
So ,
I say..."if one chooses to be an abuser...you do not have to choose to be abused by their abuse".
If their misery comforts them, then let them be comforted.
While your wishing as Laura says,
ie: your
"holding them in the light" is for their peace only, and, consequently ,all is well with your soul...
How is this accomplished?
If you zest to seek the best, take people as you find them... and expect the same in return... if they choose to abuse...you choose to walk away and emotionally detach until their vibration becomes harmonious, all the while focusing on what is important to YOU, while they work it out.
That is their problem not yours...because their story is an inaccurate version of who you know you are!
...at the deepest level
they know it too, they are only fighting to hold onto the illusion.
Anyway,
Had to jump in here and sing "peace" in unison with our sisters here...my knowing is that this only comes from mastering the art of allowing.
Goodnite to all...and to all a good nite...and have some cookies and milk...and laugh like a bowl full of Jelly...
Namast~'e from brother "J" or "K" or whoever he is that "day"!
Today is take your pick day...the grandkids are gone and I can bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan and be all those things plus a bag of chips, if I want to....
BTW Julia ,
Korean says to me "Prince is a GOD because his confidence is so strong that he can (not being gay) literally dress like a half girl in high heels , nails, and make up... and still come across like a REAL MAN... even in cross dressing...you only notice his personal power and manliness the way he conducts himself in interviews...all you see is POWER.
I dig her perspective on it.
Love,
Let's see...to you? Hmmm ...,
John
Ps. To all 'others" no Im not considering cross dressing lol... but what if I did? If it comforts you to think that is not manly then by all means be comforted while I make a million dollars with my sense of personal power and your kids buy my albums. I think I would be well comforted myself with your discomfort which fuels your childrens comfort... wow the mirror just keeps reflecting and reflecting...the vibes that are harmonious with you...not parallel...rather the plug that fits your outlet...the femineine to your masculine...the other side of the coin that just never goes away dammit!
No escaping the "reality" not even in the illusion because you are still the same coin. Might as well
surrender 
.
Try to decipher that one!