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Kadensnga
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« Reply #9 on: August 28, 2009, 04:58:43 » |
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Daphane,
I can see that while I was typing you a virtual "book", THAT the spirit began flowing with sister Julia, and she has really laid out the good stuff here...so I just erased what I was going to post, as there is no need for much of it. She is Good. Julia you can trust with all of your heart, she is like a wise knowing spiritual mother always with your best interest at heart, compassion is always waiting for you within her bossom, and unconditional allowing is always "fore-given", basically she is what Abraham calls a perfectly "Blended Being".
In short: You can trust her advice it comes straight from the source, she may as well be Esther Hicks for all I'm concerned.
All the understanding of your sense of vulnerability has been lovingly covered by Julia above... this particular post will be focused on "solutions". I want you to know that the understanding that Julia expressed also resonates here as well...but there is no need to say what she has already said.
If this sounds blunt Daphany, it is only because I am familiar with your teachings, and I know you will understand every word of what I am about to say, so in love for you and in understanding of your high level of evolution (however out of focus at the moment) I know we dont have to wear kid gloves, because you will "get it". Thank you for that trust ahead of time.
With that:
Here's my "two cents", or "addition to the most nourishing stew" that God is making for you:
I am just going to remind you of the Universal Laws taught by Abraham, since it is a language to which we both are akin, and have great love for, and because it works. We will get into specifics in a minute but first I want to give you a quick recap of what you already know. It will sound redundant I am sure, but repetition is mastery.
Firstly,
I agree with Julia that you have switched from creative mode into "survival" ( default creative) mode, and we have to turn that back to being in "creative mode" ("deliberate" creative mode).
Because as you know, we are constantly becoming only more of that which we already are. So it is important to pay attention first and foremost to what you are "being". If you are "being" in survival mode, then we need to turn that around... So what am I being in the "current" is a good question..
We must understand that it is not a "we" for the purposes of this dialogue, although in the literal sense we are one...at this moment we are talking about your experience as an individual expression, who must break out of survival mode. So the concern is rather "I" in this case, and for our present individual situation.
You cannot create in another's experience no matter how close you are to them. You can only participate with them in their own creating...or not. Or you can co-create with them...but you can never do their part.
Basic rule of creation there.
What are "you" creating?
Truly there is no such thing as being out of creative mode, only in the mode of creating by "default", because in "default" creation, you are not creating from a lucid standpoint, but rather from a "victim of the winds" standpoint, and while it seems you are a victim of circumstance it is only default creation. You can control your own experience. Again, you know this.
Good news:
Looks like you are now deciding to take control and deciding to create deliberately, not at the whims of circumstance, but by coming here and seeking answers, thus the turn around part is "done". You are now headed a different direction.
A: One minute you "are" a person who is out of shape You are headed for an unhealthy oblivion.
B: Next minute you order power ninety off TV and start waiting for it's arrival. What are you now?
A person who is heading the opposite direction of being out of shape. Totally different creature, with a new definition. "I am now a person who is getting healthier every day". The wheels of change are in motion.
Even from an "energy" stand point , you start getting better from the moment you place your order, and that excited anticipation starts growing.
In a nutshell: You just changed the future fore-cast.
So, know this; "whatever direction you were heading in before you came here to OUR, and sought answers...is not the same direction you are headed in now.
Glad we got that out of the way.
Lets Talk about the Universal Laws as taught by Abraham. Whether some agree with the way it is defined does not change the fact that these formulas work perfectly, and I can "allow" disagreement with love intact:
1: Allowing.
"I am that which I am, and I am willing to let all others be what they are. I am joyous in creating my own experience and I am joyous to let all others create for themselves whatever they desire."
2: Attracting:
"That which is like unto itself (vibrationally harmonic) is drawn, I am constantly drawing more unto my experience of that which I already am, i am not capable of attracting that which I am not in vibrational harmony with. I will ONLY attract that which I am in vibrational harmony with".
Note: This is why we say here in the forum when someone is experiencing disharmony "First check the love vibe". If you are going to be a spiritual seeker then that is the rule of all rules... nothing else needs to be said... however we will elaborate anyway. The most important question in the universe is "what would love do now"? In all circumstances the perfect solution is a branch off of that question.
Moving on:
3: Creation:
"We are constantly creating, even as we are not thinking about it. We either are creating intentionally, or creating by default. Creation never stops"
Default creation means simply that: If we don't create "intentionally" then we get the ole "universal grab bag special". (johns paraphrase) We recieve a mixture of things that we dont recognize as something we had even ordered, because they are a reflection of the "vibrational" seeds sown, during times of less awareness.
Those are the 3 laws that apply to this dialogue right now.
What does all this add up to, and what is my point?
As you well know,
We have control. We are never victims. We are either "choosing to be a victim", or we are "getting the victim card in the ole universal grab bag special", because we chose to create by "default" as opposed to deliberately... we didn't cover all of our energetic bases, such as "love for self, and unconditional acceptance of others".
How to solve that?
Begin creating intentionally.
Now lets apply this to your situation.
Question:
Where do we start? Especially in the midst of all this turmoil and confusion? I can hardly see my way past my nose right now.
I ask you this friend:
Where do you always start? Where is the simplest and most APPROPRIATE , and perfect place to start?
With this question: "What do I want" ?
Daphane, dear friend, is it all coming back to you now?
Indeed.
What do I want?
I want peace in my home and my marriage. I want my finances back to normal. I want to not alienate the child from our lives but still have my boundaries respected, and I want us all to be loving.
Why is what I want important?
Because the law of polarity, or "contrast", suggests that the alternative to "that which you want" is "that which you DO NOT want"... perfect love is being focused on what you want, and not being affected by anything else... then you get passed thinking of "what is not wanted", and you only see beauty. when you only see beauty, then everything you set your gaze upon recieves, and thus reciprocates "life energy".
The alternative is to "create and attract" what is NOT wanted by continuing to place your focus there, and there is no doubt that " presently" alot of focus is being given to what is not wanted here. Said in love and respect. Namaste.
How do I start getting what I want?
A: Release all thoughts of that which is not wanted. Ignore that which is not wanted and it will go away. Quit attracting more of it. Abandon the drama. Do not participate, act in love on every level, and begin allowing all others to be whatever they are going to be while you are being whatever you are joyfully. Let them swing their arms if they wish... but not at you. Step out of the fight. Not in tolerating sense, but in "Allowing: sense. Let them all have their own experience, and love even what you do not choose to participate with. You do not have to despise that which you do not love, because truly all human conditions are a reflection of all of us as one on a collective level. To hate another is to hate self in some sense. This comes back reflected as negative emotion you experience in moments of thought such as "hate", or dislike...n the opposite of that is "Allowing" ... allowing takes away resistance and negative emotion.The negative emotion has to be the first thing to go, if you desire to raise the vibe.
Point , (got off on emotion tangent) is: You cannot control their attraction of drama, but you do not have to participate in it either and accept and thus attract it for 'self".
Excuse comes in now (ego wanting to believe in the concept of victimization):
"But they keep involving me..."
Why do you keep getting sucked in? Answer: default creation. When you are not intentionally creating your day to be as you want it, or intentionally setting your own standards then others can sway your outcome.
Answer: stay focused only on what is "wanted" and ignore the rest. Soon this magic will transform the situation to your liking if you hold a joyous vibe.
Example: (default creation)
"Bobby I am running late I need you to hurry up and get in the car"
"But Mom, I am not even dressed, I need 20 minutes"
So you argue, you had all night to prepare (energy loss here in argument)...while you wait impatiently for 20 minutes and aggravation increases by the minute...
Next. "Dammit I'm late for work bobby and it's all your fault".
Was it?
While you could hardly control what Bobby was gonna do, you can ALWAYS control what "you" do.
Let's replay: This time you are clear about your own intention.
"Bobby, I am leaving in exactly 5 minutes out of the driveway wether you leave with me or not. I cant control what you do, I'm just telling you what I am gonna do. If you miss miss me, you'll be late for school and have to deal with your own consequences. Not my fault".
Then go out to the car and wait exactly 5 minutes and leave without any bad conscious whatsoever. Bobby will have to deal with his own creation, and TRULY it was his own.
If you stay focused on your own wanting , and continueing taking care of self regardless of what Bobby chooses, then what happens?
He will also learn very fast, and the situation will soon transform and he will start ebing on time eventually...in the mean time, you experienced no negative emotion or feeling of blame on either yourself or him... because he didnt harm you in this case only himself. That is for him to sort out.
So how did you train him? By doing what "YOU" wanted, not wanting to harm him, offering to give him a ride, but yet not taking your eyes off of what was important to YOU, letting it be his own choice what he creates for himself.
Now he is on time, he is better equipped for life, and he is not getting on your nerves making you late...all because you did what was important to "you", instead of worrying about what "bobby was creating".
Sure he'll throw a fit the first couple of times you leave without him, and if you ignore what is not wanted, and stay focused on what "is", then that will change too. he will be forced to cope or face his own consequences, and he wont be able to blame because you offered, and he didnt comply.
All of life works this way. You dont force it to comply, you rather "train it to comply" through the holding steady of your own personal vibration, and the power of your expectation. It conforms.
Otherwise, you are a victim to his tardiness, and your whole family is argueing about it, and your boss is mad...the whole ball of wax...it just compounds.
Let us worry about who "we" are and not who "another is". This is the greatest thing we can do to let our light shine, and also let other shine their light.
Why, because being one with your own wanting creates a reciprocal cycle of joy in your life and surroundings. Being one with your own personal wanting, and contentment, is what creates the world around you for better or worse. It is for the good of EVERYONE that you pay attention to 'you".
By doing what YOU want to do, and being solid about it, you train EVERYTHING in your existence to be only as you determine it to be. This is why Abraham says that if you focus on "YOUR" wanting... then your world will come into harmony with that.
You have choice. You always did. No one is a victim.
Losing the idea of victim hood is the first step to turning things around. No victims. Not you or your husband, nor the son, nor the ex wife , nor the sister... they are all creating their own drama's.
Now what do you want?
Not segregation.
Let's delve into why I believe that...because you expressed it in your letter...you want harmony, not separation. The trouble is that you may no longer believe it is possible, but that later, for now:
Do you want to see your husband and his son work it out and come into joyous union as father and son?
Do you want to see harmony?
Then, go about your business doing what you want to accomplish, and being who you want to be for yourself and for them...playing the role that you want to play, and then let them sort it out for themselves...
As for the son and father say "Hey look, you two work it out, but this is how "MY" experience is gonna be".
Eventually if your vibration says "I will have peace" then they, and all circumstances will be forced to comply, however if your vibe says "I will allow myself to be part of the drama"... then it will reflect itself out in all areas of your life.
FREEDOM gets the love vibe flowing:
"Hey Bobby, I love you and we're hurting each other, look if you want to be with your mom that's fine, if you dont want to be here I still love you and I wish you would change your mind, but this is how I am... and it seems to rub you the wrong way... I want to leave the door open for you if you ever decide this is what you want..."
Where is the disrespect there? I don't see it. Where is the lack of love? Non existent, that shows plenty of love and also personal boundaries. You give him what we all want, not dictatorship, but rather "choice". he chooses to live by your rules or he chooses to go back to his moms, either way, you aren't mad.
Now who feels guilty?
No one.
He doesnt feel alientated, and you dont feel guilty. he feels like he is making "choices", and so do you, there is no need to fight, because all are allowed to make their own choice and deal with their own consequences.
There never had to be a fight in the first place, only a choice.
Closing this down now, please be patient for yet another moment.
You must free yourself from the negative energy by releasing love vibes to all, just as they are, and allowing in love, fake breasts and all..., as you also allow yourself your own standards.
Love draws. Love draws. Love draws... when we try too hard, it creates resistance. Draw it, not force. Love Draws. Love gives life to everyone who is the object of it, as well as the giver.
If you radiate only unconditional love and acceptance for others and for self, eventually everything will start yielding to that.
Dont try to change anything, just get on with being "you" the person your husband loves, and the person who even the son was intially drawn to.
Somehwere along the line we get caught up in the drama, and we stop being that person.
2 Steps Daph, and you already know em.
A: Allow
B: Get on with creating your own experience deliberately.
Remember, spew the white mist, even as you are walking through the red.... if you dont then there is only more red on the other side.
Truth.
Ignore the drama. Dont take it from your step son, or your husband, or his ex... just say "I love you guys" but I got better things to do than participate in drama. Let me know when you want to hang out with me.
There is not one single shred of what I just told you that isnt absolutely true.
It is said in great love. Please understand that this long post is meant to help you, and I truly believe what I'm saying...yes I know we are not about the specifcs.,... much drama we could get into that's being bypassed...
Allowing literally fixes EVERYTHING when not done in a "tolerant" fashion with negative emotion.
There are a hundred ways to analyze the different victimizations, and problems but then we are participating in the wrong energy...there are only two clear answers that change it All.
Time to get the focus on those;
A: Allow
B: Deliberately create.
Once again it starts with "what do I want"?
Drop the drama, and start heading toward your wanting, give it all your focus and all the negative will drop off and your creation power will increase, and the rest will come in line.
If you dont, then the other choice is "oblivion"
It's all up to you.
Great Love,
John
Even in the case that you wake up tomorrow and everything you have ever worked for is gone...no one can take away "what do I want, and what am I going to create from this moment forward". Sometimes there is backlash we must deal with from sowing weak seed in the season before... you can continue worrying about it, and allowing yourself to be drowned by drama, but it is better to begin getting fixated on the idea of simply seeing only what you want...and giving no attention to what you dont. The world will transform within weeks before your very eyes.
God speed to you Daphany.
There is great Love here for you.
John
oh! Also, "ducky friend", you may have noticed that neither Julia nor myself spoke to the actual finances or health issues at any great length. That is because we both recognize that these issues have arisen out of the disharmony. Seek first the kingdom of God and all of these things shall be added unto to you.
Perfect love attracts all things. Check the love vibe, make sure it is perfect on all fronts.
Also, and I mean this: "Don't believe that your husband is happy or complete even for one moment, as long as there is division between he and his son. No matter what he says, or how he claims to agree for the purpose of peace...no matter how prideful he is at saying "I'm done with that kid". He is not, so you must accept that. This bridge must be repaired before perfect harmony will exist.
Trust me, I'm a father. I have fought with my daughter and said prideful things... I have agreed with my wife for the sake of peace...then silently resented her underneath the surface for not seeing my hurt and my longing for harmony between her and my daughter...
He's agreeing Daph, but dont believe it. He needs reconciliation with his son.
Your job is to hold them both in the light and gaze upon them with love energy and feed them with silent vibrations of love and adoration from which new life can spring forth. Otherwise just keeps your eyes on your own wanting.
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