Death

[tessa]

Hi All,

Sorry for the title of the post, wasn't sure what else to call it.  Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while but I have been suffering from hyperemis (severe pregnancy sickness) and had to go into hospital but I am feeling much better now and baby is fine too. 

When I came out of hospital my grandad had just managed to get a place in a Hospice, not sure if you have them in America, but they are charity run places where you go when you are terminally ill for a painfree comfortable death, they were amazing! Anyway I managed to spend the last few days with my grandad which although were hard at times were amazing and very special, we managed to tell each other how much we loved each other and we all felt very close.  Every morning when we arrived my grandad would tell us that a bright light had covered his room during the night and that although he was compelled to go towards it he dared not to as he was very scared about dying.  He was desperate for us to believe him and although my Nana said ' it will just be the morphine bob' my mother and I assured him that we did believe him and I wrote him this poem:

I know your time here is Limited
But I really don't want you to cry
I know your sad but you shouldn't be
And here is the reason why

The place after here is wonderful
Everyone will know your name
The place after here is magical
No misery, no sorrow no pain

You will never be far away from us all
So don't feel like your going away
There is no time in the next world
And years can feel like a day

I know you will always be close to me
But I will miss you with all of my heart
But please don't think of this as the end
As for you it is just the start

That night I tried to send a message to my grandads mother to go and collect him, my mum told my grandad that if the light came again then he was to go into it - he did and he died.

That morning I went into the hospice to see Nana and mum but they had already left, the nurses asked me if I wanted to go and see grandad, I wasn't sure, I had never seen a dead body before, but I did.  It was an amazing enlightening experience,  not what I was expecting at all, as I stood there and looked at him I realised that he had totally and completely gone, nothing that was before me represented my grandad in anyway at all.  It totally made me realise that the body is just a 'shell' and that it is not at all what makes a person a person.  Of course I already new this but when you are faced with it head on it really does bring it home. Although I was standing next to him I realised that 'he' was not there and was probably either busy in his new world or was with mum and Nana so i left to go and be with them.

Although a sad time, it has been a very spiritual time for me and has made me think about life very differently.

Just thought id share my experience with you all

Love
Tessa

[juliainkc]

Dearest Tessa ~

I am deeply touched by your genuine and Heartfelt sharing. This is so beautiful and your Beautiful Spirit is revealed in your sharing. I cannot wait for Kiara to read this and I so loved your poem which expresses 'death' so well.

Embracing you and your precious family in Divine Love,

Sharing Peace with you in this moment ~

Your sister in Divine Love,

Julia

[zensunni7]

Hello Tessa,

So good to feel you here again.
I am delighted you and the baby are fine, and feel your loss of your Grand Father. I am gald you were so ' THERE ' for him during his transition. The poem was beautiful and I am sure made him feel comfortable in his transition.
Death was a fine title - it is what it is.

I hope all is well there with your growing family. Any names yet for this new child?
Hope to hear more from you soon.

WithIn Love
Darrell

[tessa]

thank you both for your kind words.

We like the names Lucas and Elissa but im sure we will change our minds!!

Tessa

[Freedom]

Hi Tessa , that was a beautiful poem and I really do feel that grandad felt helped by it on his way. How wonderful that you managed to do that during everything else that you wer going through.

( I hope you dont get cross here, but kids make fun of rhyming names.
Lucas / mucas  or Elissa / pissa ...  so be careful of the names in case other kids do that. I ahve had that experience in the past, so I Know. )

Bless you . 

[zensunni7]

Hello All

Freedom is correct about the names and nick-names. It was always a consideration when choosing names for my kids. But Lucas and Melissa are great names, and we all survived our teasing.
Choosing names is harder than one might think, so many names to choose from.
I came up with these for my kids.
Jason Peter
Jessica Rose
Aaron Jacob
Adam Paul
Kyle Dillon - In that order of birth - hey, I breed well in captivity.

WithIN Love
Darrell

[tessa]

Adam and Aaron are both names we have considered in the past and love Rose as a middle name.  Agree on the teasing however whatever the name kids will come up with something stupid!!

[DH]

Hi Tessa,

I have been a hospice chaplain in the US. Your story is very touching and not unlike many I have had the honor of sharing with individuals and their families going through a transition.    A lot of transition experiences are chalked up to drugs or the brain being deprived of oxygen, and maybe a few are, but I'm firmly convinced that most aren't.   Your poem is awesome and I'm sure was a great help to your grandfather.  Thanks for sharing.

And by the way, my kids names are Mariah Faith, La Rhonda Jean and Joshua.

Glad you are feeling better and things are better.  DH

[Mina-Laura]

Dear All,


By now it must be known about the passing of Michael Jackson.

I just wanted to acknowledge, pay tribute to this soul for the wonderful lessons we got to learn through him, and equally for the moments of joy he brought into this world.

I know your time here is Limited
But I really don't want you to cry
I know your sad but you shouldn't be
And here is the reason why

The place after here is wonderful
Everyone will know your name
The place after here is magical
No misery, no sorrow no pain

You will never be far away from us all
So don't feel like your going away
There is no time in the next world
And years can feel like a day

I know you will always be close to me
But I will miss you with all of my heart
But please don't think of this as the end
As for you it is just the start