consciousness projection as childcare

[Talker]

Beloved Souls,

Ah, the colorful Tapestry of ones life's journey. I am at times humbled, yet another time saddened, then arrives ecstatic moment of sheer joy, tears of frustration, stultifying shin whacks, moments of sheer beauty, total understanding, loss of any understanding, love, loss of love, feeling Source, loss of Source awareness, resonating with Source.
The journey is paradoxically swift and agonizingly slow. Jewels are found strewn on the path, ignored by the pain of the moment. Then the gentle voice whispers 'step back, you are to close'. The gentle whisper continues with ‘I weep in sadness, for I Am eternally by your side, and you see me not'. 'Dear one, quell the doubt and fears of this moment, and, be briefly silent, and welcome me in, and all will be according to your hearts desires again'. 'Your gift that I have given you, is the Tapestry, you are the artist that applies the color'.

As I read the experiences posted here, I see the many and varied rocks and jewels that are the coloring agents within ones Tapestry, unfolding in ones life journey. I am in awe that one can endure the trials and tribulations experienced. I am in awe when the stepping back reveals the sheer beauty, of the beautifully colored Tapestry now seen.

Thank you Father, for that which we have shared.

Be Well

(8/3/2009  7:30 pm)

Wanted to show a photo of any type that could represent
'The Tapestry of Life'.
So made up one with cut and paste, and as crude as it is, it may convey what I was endeavoring to state in my post here.
Also, was unable to upload it into the post here, so put on my blog.

http://thetalker.org/archives/434/18-tapestry-of-life/

[Mina-Laura]

Amin beloved Talker.

[Leila]

Dear John,

I have read your long Life Story. It's not that bad! You are certainly on the right path.

Also, today I went back and re-read all your 4 pages of posts, to know you better. As in the meantime I have changed my mood, my "filters" and therefore perspective, it felt differently than at first sight. Better.

I am very impressed by your easiness of expression, talent at writing and humor. I had lot of fun reading your posts, and laughed here alone. I truly like the kind of human you are, and am glad that you joined the forums and are such an open friend.

We are living crucial times now, and it's wonderful to be together and support each other.

About Darrell, I am pretty sure that he shed few tears too, seeing and feeling our love and appreciation for him. He is very sensitive and loving, but not enough comfortable and accustomed with the amount of Love he gets here. He doesn't know what to do with it, like you don't know what to do with your freedom!

I truly wish he was here with us during these times! But we are all free to choose our way, and everybody knows the best what is right for himself. All I can do is send him blessings and express my endless Love, as well as connecting with his Spirit.

Unconditional Love for All,

Leila

[Leila]

Dear Talker,

Yes, experiencing life at the fullest, and enjoying every moment like a bliss and a divine gift! Easier said than done, when our hearts are broken! I do my best to remember all the time my power, and to not waste the precious time in worries.

I have just recovered partially from last serious "crisis". It took me less than 3 weeks to "let go", but I allowed myself to feel the pain at the fullest, bring it to the surface and heal it. It may be once and forever. As Julia said in a recent post to me, I died and experienced rebirth in Spirit. I had moments when felt "crushed to the ground", and told myself that it was the dying before resurrection. Shed all the tears until I was out of them.

I felt hurt and disappointed, but acknowledged that it came from the darkness of subconsciousness, and it was a reflection of it. I knew I would come out of that purified and lighter, closer to Spirit.

I was so present in forums these days, because I was moved to do it. I go with the flow.

I want to say, that you are most sensitive, loving, tender, caring, reliable and lovable human being known to me! The best Friend that I have!

I thank God for you, and I'm humbled by the Greatness of your Spirit.

In Gratitude to the Heavens for my heart and my Friends,

With endless Love for All,

Leila

[Kadensnga]

Lovely Leila,

Thank you for appreciating my words, your own expression is amazing. It truly blows me away beyond labels, you must understand that when my ability to express bliss outwardly ends, it is only BEGINNING to explode on the 'inside". .

I am amused at the ability you have to understand filters and processing something over again in another mood or perspective... you understand that "one day a man will not give you a penny for a golden apple, but on another day, he would trade you his entire fortune for a mere tree"... ah, the tides advance and the tides recede...

My heart is full of fondness for you and amusement at your bright eyed enthusiasm and your childlike wonder. Please never change that part endeared one.

On words:

Words and thoughts are my greatest love in truth.

Indeed. They have made my life. They have formed the material world around me. I saw at an early age that the words and music of a song are a beck and call, and that the music is speaking, and the man is only translating the musics language into words, and that the music is very happy with this exchange, the : "muse -ick".

The music loves us as we love it... itself the music is the communication of the "muse"

The "muse" she wishes to speak, and we are her vessels, and also her playmates...there's a wondrous perspective for you, if you can look through those glasses with me.

If you sense her fluttering around , then play with her, she loves you and wishes to play...in exchange you are blessed with her wonderful creations which flow through your hands like magic out of thin air....then she winks at you and flutters off, always playing cat and mouse.

This is what I love about life...it is a dance of butterflies and "lilacs" and fairies, and a grand parade of magical stories and ,,,, everything is floating in the ethers...wherever we go in the "ethers is our experience". I must say in capitol letters "TRUTH"!

TRUTH.

Lets us flow naturally in our material experience and if we choose to, "walk around with our head in the clouds..." LOL SO BE IT!!!

This is your experience, this is my experience, this is OUR experience.

My friend, what harm can come to us I ask you?

Stay out of trouble...stay away from the things that bring trouble ie; "disharmony"...

Truly the most unbelievable place you can ever go, the most infinitely blissful, omnipotent, wonderful powerful, magical place in existence is your own mind... in this place you visit the places of your choosing only.

I must continue.

How wonderful that we come here and connect our minds with others and our individual universes expand and blend into one-ness.

To all of my friends including you Leila, "thank you for allowing my spiritual pallet the delicacy of touching with your consciousness".

I love you Talker

My friend I would that I could sit down beside you, and put my arm around you and say "I love you", you are a wonderful soul...I have read parts of your blog.

With all of your moods, and wondrous elements that make up the very special expression of "you"...and all of the different parts of the tapestry... it is all good, it is all appropriate. You are are so right that there are many things that make up the beauty of the  tapestry...

Or like the ingredients to a stew... some of them sweet, and some of them sour, and some of them with a hint of bitterness that almost takes you back ...

Together, when standing in the shoes of the observer, we are able to see what a perfect blend all those individual nuances make, and what a great stew; that is our "whole life" as an individual. All of the flavors, even the harshly bitter ones with that little "sting", they are all a part of the magical blend that makes up this wonderfully satisfying stew.

Then there is the place when you say "It's always better the second day after it sits and blends...". I think I'm there now.

I had better go for now.

I Love you all my new friends, Laura much warm love being sent your way, thank you for calling forth this wonderful expression "Leila" with the energy of your fondness and love.

This is why I see this forum as "A place where neuro pathways connect", When my nuero transmitter crossed path over one of Laura's neuro pathways..., a "juncture" is made....and now my neuro pathway, has a new opening, a new source of life energy coming into it. I was able to share Laura's fondness of Leila...

I am feeling toooo good about this...I may write for two hours if I don't stop now. It's okay because there is "enoughness"...

LOL. Adrian's mind truly is expanding is it not?

By the way Leila, I found the problem of my earlier writing.

The vibrational disharmony that occurred in my earlier writing was caused by a jerk of "not enough-ness", the jerk that says "you must get it all out now in one post, because there is not enough time..."

I am off for the moment.

Great love to you all.

Julia, you have been away for a bit but my love has not ceased to be with you. I cannot wait to hear your fresh words.

Great Love,
Jon

The muse has not yet inspired me with labels to express the amount of bliss in my heart when I think of anyone of you, or even all of you. You all truly have brought my expression into the state of being "on cloud nine".

Let us give and receive freely like the trees,

I love you,
John

[Kadensnga]

Leila,

After reading 5 or 6 pages of your own posts I must say I am speechless and truly humbled by your gift of presence.

Great Love to you,

John

[Leila]

My favourite passage from the long article posted in "Words that Touched my Soul":


"...we can always remain connected to those whom we love, as love is a high vibration that always serves to connect everything."


Thank you, Father, I am humbled in Gratitude for this!

Endless LOVE and Blessings for All souls here,

Leila

[Leila]

Leila,

After reading 5 or 6 pages of your own posts I must say I am speechless and truly humbled by your gift of presence.

Great Love to you,

John

Thank you, John! You are very kind!

I accept with Gratitude and Love all your good feelings toward me.

The fact that we can communicate so closely and vibe on same frequency speaks alot for itself...

Will be back later with more thoughts.

May God Bless you with Best Divine Gifts!

Leila

[zensunni7]

Greetings all

Yes - communing with Angels these days and with humanity - as life has thrown me out into the world once again.
I am amazed at the caliber of the dialogues here at present - even Laura has joined - and I am still an admirer of hers. Julia, Leila, Talker, great minds that leave me humbled. Welcome John.

Yes your story is amazing - children bring us the Universe and force us to expand from love and sincere sacredness of the task we are charged with. It is a Sacred task to allow these little ones to grow under our care, then to release them willingly int their own lives. Let go and let them -
Leila will capture your heart, trust her intuitiveness and heart, she walks with Angels as her entourage.
I go when and where I am called to - putting down my refreshment and leaving after hearing the inner calling. Sometimes leaving resentments and anger in my wake with those close to me. One never knows if I am just leaving to allow them to hear their own callings.
Whatever I may be - it is the result of ferocious devotion to my-Self and knowing intuitively it was Gods hands that pushed me to the same nights and years of direct study - knowing later I read to re-member, not to learn - per se' and that the results would manifest when the times caught up to me.
In the same consciousness hearing the celestial voices accomplished and the very primal drumming of the ancient one I am, that we all are.

Love to all

[juliainkc]

Hello Everyone,

Darrell, always wonderful to see your Presence in here my Beloved brother. I would like to say to John that the vibe of his muscical language reminds me of you and Talker so well! Your words flow from the Heart. Namaste.

I have InJoyed the dialogue ongoing. Narrating 'my' story in a nutshell, 3 times removed, without emotion.

I will share John that I too experienced being a grandmother at 38 when my just turned 15 year aged daughter announced to me while I was heading out the door to another cross country trip to teach hair cutting that she was pregnant. If you could be a spider on the wall in that moment!! My mouth turned into a proverbial sewer in that moment. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was a single mother of two adolescent daughters, their father divorced them when we divorced and worked under the table so as to not pay child support. We were struggling financially due to my being a stay at home mother for 12 years. And so, I travelled to make up for what was 'lacking' in the coffers.

I divorced my GOD in this time too. In a rage, like an adolescent myself. I threw my Bible in the trash and said, 'That's what I think of you!' Truly. And so, the deep earth quaking shift in my beliefs began. I cussed my idea of God out with fierce regularity! And what flowed through in response was 'new' thought systems. I didn't go looking for them, trust me I wanted nothing to do with God in any way. GOD in a sense found me, by sending Love notes. I was the Prodigal, the wayward child.

I didn't have an adolescence the first time around due to what was being experienced in my world. I worked while living overseas in a bar as a 13 year old because I looked older for my age back then. And I gave my mother the money to survive because my dad was taking care of another woman and they were living the high life while we went without.

Fast forward to now looking back not in regret but in awe. I have lived with my children for almost 30 years. For some reason they could not safely navigate the worldly waters without me. I found for myself that my life was draining from me and so, I went into a deep reclusive self numbing state. To cut myself off from everything and everyone. And yet, the VOICE was calling to me throughout it all. I kept thinking I had to 'clean' myself up to be worthy. I had to make myself 'good' enough to experience GOD. And now in reviewing, I see that GOD was ever present all the while and that it was I who was not seeing GOD. I do now though and quite clearly. For those whom may be reading and battling with something, we all have something, I say, Be at Peace. Come as you are, all are welcomed and will be tended to be made ready. We have been given angels who are administered to attend to us. Truly. This is what leads us to Unite in Compassion and not judge by feeling sorry for those whom are 'not' like I Am. There is no place for this idea except in the ego mind.

I have come to understand that the reason why my children clung to me was because I in reflection was clinging to my children. Truth. And that is what showed me to see the ego in me clearly. WOW! Thinking that I needed other people including my children to fulfill a deep seated need in me. The fear of abandonment. I laugh at myself now, because I am known for being very independent. Do you see the humor here? Well, I AM independent of the good or bad opinions of any other and I do not need others to serve my purpose here at all. When I believe this, I am in a sense reinforcing my illusion of need.

So, my children are such Joys in my life and my three grandchilden. And now, I am free to InJoy them just because they are Joy in my life as I am in theirs. I am touched by the fact that you as a father did not reject your daughter! Truly.

I shared with a Beloved friend recently that we in this world of relationships define the importance of the father son, mother son, mother daughter relationships yet, we seem to leave out the importance of the father daughter relationship.

I AM blessed that my Heavenly Father never left me nor abandoned me and this humbles me with the deepest Joy and gratitiude. I say this for all those here whom were left as orphans, without a mother or a father or both. You are never left alone truly. Your Heavenly Parent is with you always in all ways.

Peace to the hearers.

Love extending in grace to all,

InJoy this day being Loved beyond all understanding,

Julia

[Leila]

My Beloved Zen Master,

This is my happiest day since 11 July, and I give thanks to our Father for this bliss!

It's so good to see you here again, in good spirits and so wise and loving, as we know you. Your wit is absolutely unique and gives tremendous value to this forum.

Follow your inner calling, my Dearest One. Honor Your Self as you always did. Release the darkness and the demons of subconsciousness, as we all do. Now is the best time for a dramatic change and purification. I had my part during last weeks, and will reach true Unconditional Love, whatever it takes.

Resentment and anger are not for souls like ours. There is nothing you could do to awake such feelings in my heart, for there is simply only love and understanding. My Love is deeper and purer with every day that passes, for you and for our brothers and sisters.

Thank you for all that you taught me from your ancient wisdom. I keep it in my heart like most precious treasure, and live by it. I learned Oneness, and language of Spirit, and Love of the Source. We play our roles in this illusion, but we are One, united in Love. And will reunite at Home, when time will come.

Bless the world with your divine Presence! It's why you are here, with such talent.

You are in my heart forever, and I send you Blessings and Angels.

I love you deeply,

Leila

[Leila]

Dear John,

You are amazing in your last posts, that obviously flow from your spirit, which feels the bliss of coming back to Family.

Your harmonious and loving expression shows me a wonderful man, who shines the happiness within upon the world.
I sense you very wise, and versed in all aspects of spirituality, which make us speak same language and have a marvellous dialogue. You are poetic, gentle, tender, even romantic in your beautiful words.
You have the ability to sense us perfectly, and tune your vibration with the person's you address to. Talk to each of us in the most appropriate way and language. This reminds me about your talent and experience in music, which make approaching us magnificently, an easy game to play, for you.

I was always fascinated by the lyrics of songs. They speak to me about Divine Love. You are blessed to have been so close to the world of sounds, the essence of the Universe.
 
Indeed, nothing can really harm us. We are always "safe in spirit" as Beloved Julia told me recently. Yes, I stay away from trouble, but I need to learn the life lessons for which I chose to come here. Most of them come to me through Love and relationships, for there are few other things that really affect me.
 
You say our mind is most wonderful place... I'm not so fond of mind...I prefer the heart, the essence of Love. I rarely put mind before the heart, LOL!

There was no "problem with your early writing"! You are perfect and express divinely! Don't attempt to change your magical style in order to please me or anyone...we seldom - if ever - can please everyone.
How I perceive other's expressions is very subjective, reflecting my consciousness and filters applied by subconsciousness. Be Your Authentic Self, and we love you for that. I'm another Yourself.

I'm deeply grateful to you, John, for appreciating and loving Darrell so much, and expressing your feelings so sincerely and spontaneously. That, together with your intention and action to call forth his energy, really brought him here, amongst us, as you can see - to enjoy his charm and uniqueness of expression.
But most of all, what drawn Darrell here was the quality of discussions and the flow of energy - and this is entirely your merit, Dearest John. You created this new and fresh air, and gave the sharings value and quality.
I sensed well that he would be responsive and resonate with this, and be touched by your love.

I have very, very much appreciation for you, and consider you a genuine Friend and Brother.

May God Bless you, and let you bless others, through your golden heart!

Much Love to You,

Leila

[Kadensnga]

Greetings brothers and sisters... Namaste

Dear Leila,

There was a female who came in my life a while back and taught me the lesson that I could still be wanted...

You have come to teach me something else.

That I may not ever need a girlfriend at all.

Their is so much cosmic ecstasy to be had when communing with a soul like yours , coming into vibrational harmony and experiencing blissful oneness.

Thank you for paying attention, and noting my tendency to adapt to different styles of dialogue. This is also something in the music world I learned to say after being complimented for performances that I personally thought were very much under par; not wanting to take credit for them I learned, instead of "thank you"; rather to say, "I am glad to know you enjoyed it". Thus; I say this to you in regards to your kind words about my written expression.

The muse wishes to speak;

The ability to adapt does come from music, but not in the way that one might suspect.

What is called "it" in the music business to me is "intuition". Let's go deeper to what it is truly , : "Empathy". Many times one will say to you as a performer "You made that song sound just exactly like the original artist'.

In my own knowing, it actually sounded nothing like the artist at all, so why do these people think it sounds exactly like the artist?

Because it "FELT" exactly like the artist.

Empathy my friend, stepping into the shoes of the character of the song and feeling it's esscence from the inside out... it's spirit pours out of you when you are able to tune into that frequency which resonates with the heart of the song...and it "feels" right, regardless of how it sounds.

If you were to intellectualize the two performances you would see that they were nothing close to similar, but they both conveyed the same "feeling".

Empathy.

And so... when I engage in dialogue with you or with Darrel or with Julia... it is highly possible that I unknowingly step into your shoes, feel you from the vantage point of "you", and being in vibrational harmony...thus, even the atrocious grammer and writing style is akin to your vibration, because we begin to come from the same place as loves energy blends us into oness.

As your love becomes my song, and my song becomes your love... WOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!

Ah the muse... don't flutter away just yet please... I am refreshed by your company!

Did I type that out loud? (I sense Julia near).



Back to Leila,

Great Love to you beautiful one, and to all other beautiful ones. As our ageless and wise brother Darrel say's; you truly walk with Angels as your entourage. My heart is yours, mi casa es tu casa...do feel free to step in and out, and make yourself at home whenever it pleases you, and it will please me as well...

Are we going off the deep end again?

Is there any other way to go?

Ah Brother Darrel,

You came to our aide and assistance. You are truly sensitive to the calling of the spirit indeed. Amazing! I shall look forward to finishing the reading of your wisdom today. Great Love and the energy of 'admiration" being sent to your way. "Father of fathers", is what my spirit is saying at this moment. I suppose that is for you!

Brother I have so far to go to reach this "one degree of separation" from the ego, to step into the dimension that calls me constantly, so much mixture between "knowledge" and "knowing"... I can hardly stand to adapt a belief system, even the one that will allow the transformation to complete itself...because my  soul wants to follow only what is appropriate in the moment...with no regard for fact, or systems of belief...how can something only one degree of separation from being our reality sometimes seem so far away? i have spent a life self educating...how much learning can a man do before he becomes spirit> I feel myself standing at the door way to another reality, but not able to completely step in somehow...

If it moves you or Julia to speak to that, then it would greatly appreciated.

My beloved friend Julia, and wise brother Darrel. I have much reading to do of your wisdom from earlier today.I shall return with more in a short while. It is an honor, and no coincidence that you both came forth today by the calling of the spirit.

My knowing is that Julia sometimes does as Darrel, in great wisdom, they back off and let the student find their own answers at times, and they return when it is appropriate, as the spirit calls them.

My heart explodes for both you today. I am humbled beyond words for Darrell and his wise expression, and maybe even  feeling a bit timid about engaging such a profoundly wise spirit, with so much light. What light that no dark thing can hide from...you, I know, will shed on my dark places brother that I might become completely free and join you in your mission.

And Julia, of what can I speak to you, as even in this moment I feel our oness as are both the same spider on the same wall in this moment, looking through the same eyes, as you invite me to see things through your goggles for a time... Call me crazy, but I sense this.

I look forward to finishing my reading of your precious thoughts today, and look forward to coming back and telling you everything I saw! Thank you my wonderful friend or holding my energy in the light and caring for my spirit as if it were a fragile baby. I love you. I feel your spiritual protection around me, and I thank you for gracing me with your fondness.

Oh, and thank you Adrian, great visionary, and ambassador of enlightenment. You Rock my friend!!!


John

"Grandfather of Kaden the Adonis, and Jonathon the gifted one, and father of Korean The "butt headed" one "

[zensunni7]

Greetings All

My grandsons name is Kaden also - I am soon to become re-acquainted with him, as his mother and my son are not together, but I am resuming my relationship to him. Timing is all - and replaces the concept of time. I was there for the birth - so we are locked in energy.

In Jr High school I fought - alot. Fist fights weekly, sometimes daily. I was a burning inferno of raging energy then, and quite skilled - the fights often teetered on deaths portal - I enjoyed it with a passionate ferocity. I became skilled in martial arts and learned to channel it. But in school I fought the same person for two years, sometimes more than once a day - we were matched equally in anger and skills.  Often the battles drawing many people to encircle us - but the fights were futile, each learning new skills across the course of our war.
When one is locked into this situation you carry in skills and awareness, as the awareness that if I defeat him, I will have to defeat his brothers, cousins, clan wars of old were living within me.

In our last battle we were stopped, I was hit so hard that i lost my eyesight for around half an hour. To black for a time, then it began to return slowly. We never fought again, we never became good friends either, it was a unspoken respect of equality, reverence for skills learned and applied in our own arenas of life.
Ego does not seek our demise in futile fighting and exercises of sabotage and spiritual opposition. It does not subscribe to self destructive behaviors. It is the survivor of the ancients far a beyond the Empires of Spirit. As Spirit is the survivor of life in the Universe seeking flesh for its voice and expression.
The Ego - The Spirit, dueling ideologies promoting the validation of both existences. It is a no win battle. Cease being at war, and the skills learned apply to oness. Mutual reverence becomes the mating call and the Christ child is born - Christ is the primal pounding of passion within the powerful tsunami of love energy. No part of the Human Being is less sacred than another. When this is the decree within your inner Universe,you know Self.

Thank you all for the kind words - I learned humility in their essence. I like that most here speak as equals and same minds. One mind forming in the new grid - powerful we all are now.
Jesus in jeans and a T-shirt.

Love to you all

[juliainkc]

Indeed. I am deeply appreciative of the Love flowing through here and touching the HeartMind strings.

The LIGHT is on and radiating LOVE in all directions ~

Namaste Darrell, John, Leila, Talker and All who come into this place. We are all experiencing walking on Holy ground together as ONE.

Love in Divine Spirit,

Julia