alcoholism

[sativaguitar]

I need as much help as possible. I have tried everything and everyway.This is kinda embarassing for me but I thought i would ask if anyone has any ideas at all here bout breaking my addiction. I have moments of freedom that last bout ten weeks then it returns to this nightmare again. please if anyone has a different approach or something to try then i'm all ears. Gary

[Kadensnga]

Make stopping drinking your choice and not obligation. Not I "shouldn't drink", or not "I am scolding myself for drinking", or not "I MUST stop"... rather "Today I dont want to drink, and if I do tommorrow then I do, but today it's not on the menu".

Decrease the level of resistance. Minimize it's significance and power, and reduce it to the size of "choice".

Allowing is called for.

If you need a buzz, smoke pot, it's healthier. WOOOOOOOOW, did he just say that? Yes. I have advised another alcohholic friend the same and it helped him tremendously.

Allow yourself "something"...don't feel deprived. Associate quitting with more and better "pleasure".

[juliainkc]

I need as much help as possible. I have tried everything and everyway.This is kinda embarassing for me but I thought i would ask if anyone has any ideas at all here bout breaking my addiction. I have moments of freedom that last bout ten weeks then it returns to this nightmare again. please if anyone has a different approach or something to try then i'm all ears. Gary

Dear Gary,

Wow. 10 weeks without drinking. That is wonderful my friend. Really. This shows that you have and are able to remove the 'physical' behavior. What I see as an observer is that you have yet to be free of the emotional or real cause of the 'addiction', repeated behaviour.

You are changing the outer symptom without changing the inner cause. And I have no issues with John's suggestion if this will relax you however, as I shared in another post, until we get to the 'Heart' of the matter, no amount of thinking of ways to go around the 'issue' are going to be long lasting. We'll just trade it in for another behavior. I say this in compassion my friend no judgements here.

It seems to me that what 'works' for one does not necessarily 'work' for another in these things as in physical means and ways.

I do have a question for you. Are you able to love this part of yourself in this moment? This one who drinks too much and behaves in ways that Gary wouldn't if he were not drinking? Truth. Or are you wrestling with this 'dark' side of Gary and denying this side love by holding it at bay, keeping it hidden or in the dark, slamming the door in its face? How do I know this?

I've done alot of things in my life and so I see it all now as given to experience to enlarge my compassion and lose the judgments of others. Because no matter what one is doing on the outer level, there's a Being in there crying out for Love and Acceptance and that is the Eyes, Ears, Heart and MIND I was trained to with.

It does take awhile to Love ourselves without judgements, more LOVE and less judging ourselves. And to forgive ourself. As in getting to the place where you embrace you entire self, warts and all.
You stop 'picking' on yourself.  And ask, Invite GOD to assist you and show you the way. It may seem to take awhile due to changes going on in the Inside before showing up on the outside yet, the change is not a fleeting one, IT will be an established one. And I have to be honest Gary, I have read of those whom after years of sobriety fall into it again for awhile and some never come out of it yet I ask you in all sincerity, are they Spirit Beings in human bodies?

Even if we would not choose their path or perhaps they wouldn't choose ours either. ITs all GOD. Only our limited minds says otherwise. We make our god as big as our 'brain' and not based on our hearts.

So, not intending at all to tell you how, just a hand extended that while you are in the midst of a dark experience that has deep and profound implications, here's some ideas to toss around in the mix, some new words to a song for you to practice singing, after awhile, words like this well, they become first nature.


'Problem' ~ Addictions  ~         Probable Cause  ~ Running from the self. Fear. Not knowing how to love the self.     

New Thought Pattern ~ I now discover how wonderful I am. I choose to love and enjoy myself. I lovingly take care of my body, my mind and my emotions.

'Problem' ~ Alcoholism ~        Probable Cause ~ What's the use? Feeling of futility, guilt, inadequecy. Self-rejection. 

New Thought Pattern ~ I live in the now. Each moment is new. I choose to see my self worth. I love and approve of myself.

Extending LOVEs grace for your Well Being today Gary,

Peace and Joy are yours,

Julia

[Kadensnga]

In the illusive sense we are Julia and John answering as Gary cries out to the "Forum", but in the REAL (collective) sense, we are "God" answering as gary cries out to the "Universe.

In the very deepest sense of reality we are "Life crying out to Life".

Gary, you are no doubt hurting over this... I have seen this struggle alot...in the music biz... much of Julias and I's answer is to "find that place where you have been beating up Gary in all of this process...

Stand up for the inner child, the one you remember from childhood and sense your love for him...now think of the tragedy of him being trapped by an addiction and knocked around by that.

What do you want to do for that child? You want to go save him dont you?

Go do it my friend, go keep your promise to that child who at one time you assured "Everything will be alright".

 Love yourself.

I am sure that you will find alot of wisdom in Julias words, she is the deepest, most knowing soul ever, and I "prey upon" all others to also come to our aid here, as you face this place of desperately wanting change.

You can do it Gary. There is a a force beating up the inner child and you can save him and be his hero!

I dont drink but I know those who do, and it really is a difficult place where you are at unless you find the key that fits into the lock like a hot knife going through butter... slick just slides right in.
Jesus said with all thy getting , get understanding...

Understand that something is beating up your inner child and pounding on it's once vibrant self esteem... like a parent verbally abusing a child.

You can turn that childs life around Gary.

Julia, I dont sense any dis-agreement, but if I did, there is room in my love for you to facilitate it, I always know the same is returned. No vibe rift at all my friend, all grace, understanding, love and unity is always in tact, and utter respect.

if it was a choice between what is more wrong and right, then you would be right, and I would be delighted to acknowledge that.

ALL is love. Go save that inner child Gary. Show him that his life can be happy and worth while, restore his faith and his bright happy eyes full of wonder and excitement. Save him from the evil taskmaster, and let him see the light of day, restore him, heal him, and nurture him back to life, and adore him as you would your own newborn. Make him strong and full of confidence... and remind him of how loved he is and how happy he makes you.

Great Love to you Gary, Julia, and all.

John

Ps, Many times we dont think enough of "self" to be motivated to do a whole lot for self... this is why I encourage you to think of the "inner child"... sometimes we will do things for what we percieve as "another" before we will ourselves. Yes, Gary you are absolutely the only one on earth who can restore that child to safety. You must BE the man for him. This is your appointed time to achieve greatness.

After this, the rest is easy! 

[sativaguitar]

What a great feeling to get up and and see two replies to my post. I have have read both and firstly would like to thank both Kadensnga and Juliainkc for even bothering and taking the time to reply. Both messages are full of good advice and I will be doing some serious introspection and delve deeper to what is really behind this darkness that is consumimg me. I know when I have come out of it before it's like a whole new world and everything is amazing. I look back when in those moments and think how did I let that stuff control me and then somehow weeks later I'm back in that shut down small world hiding behind the bottle again. My mother died from kidney failure 2 years ago from this very thing and one would have thought that would have made me change and it did for a while but then i went back to old habits. After reading the replies I realized there are many factors involved. Early School Days, The Music Industry , extreme nervousness and a total lack of self worth. There is more but today I am going to give it another go and make the changes I need. I have got excited about this challenge and went out and got some Greg Braden books which I have just started. So here I go .....The hardest part is the 1st five days going through that head crushing experience as my body adapts to it's new chemistry but once on the otherside I know i will be ok. It is really wierd I change totally it's literally like being another person. But this has gone on long enough, my body aches ,my liver has stabbing pains, uric acid crystals in my joints sometimes even make it hard to walk which i cover with anti inflams so if not now this will kill me. So thanks for the inspriation and kind words. Here I go......

Gary

[Kadensnga]

I am glad our love encourages you brother. You can share with us, or even feel free to email me if you like. Wether you are up or down, drinking or not drinking. I will not take back any of my advice, and I don't know your age... but just a word of added advice...if you do choose to use any alternative way of relaxing in rough times... make it natural. Dont ever use pills and that sort of thing... pills will kill you and destroy your life quicker than alcohol. The doctors have practcally destroyed my mother with pain pills... I am trying to help her pull out of a big tailspin on these that is literally costing her life.

Just adding that, another story.

Gary, you play guitar?

Love yourself brother, and use your talent be a light unto the world. Make more than music... with what you are blessed with. "Doing the right thing will lighten your load, and light up your life'.

One more thing ,

Life can change FAST, it just snowballs... next thing you know it's a whole new world. It's amazing how we can totally change form in such short spans of time... 10 days everything looks different , 90 days and life is a whole new fabulous ballgame.

Make it through your first 5 days by the art of "distraction"... take on a new passion... make it like you don't even have time to "remember to drink".

It's so much easier giving advice than having to be on the "taking" end with these things, but I hope it helps. I'm here for you bro.

Great Love,
John

[juliainkc]

Good Morning Gary and John and All,

Gary, it's absolutely no bother at all truly. That's what we are here for. We are ALL in this together. My heart is with you in experiencing your mother's passing and I Incourage you to be the 'parent' you desired to have as a young child for yourself. The one there for you no matter what. Even when we do things that we view as not living up to our Highest good or 'potential', the LOVE remains. It's like learning to walk. We don't berate a child for falling down and stumbling while they learn to walk. You are on your path and reading uplifting books are great. Are there other things that could busy your hands that maybe you liked doing as kid? Building model planes or cars, or working with wood, etc.? Do you have a photo album of yourself throughout the years? Even keeping a photo of yourself at the age of 3 nearby is wonderful when you are having one of those days and you can talk to your Inner Child (we all have one) and listen to it as well.

I've mentioned journaling before and would like to say each one has their own way of journaling. My grand daughter draws her thoughts and may include a word or two to express the emotion behind the picture. She then comes in later and wants to talk about her picture. Finding a safe haven as in an ear of one you can trust explicitly is also helpful to get you through those rough spots. Just encouraging you to allow Love in through the Universe or God sending ones your way to hold hands with you along the way. And that includes us here Gary.

We are here for you my friend. Don't be shy about sharing on your progress and feel free to express whatever you are going through. You have no idea how many you may have helped already by being open and honest. I appreciate you Gary truly. The biggest step is the first one.

John, you are such a loving friend and brother. Namaste.

Love to you Gary always in all ways,

Julia

[sativaguitar]

Once again thank you so much to you both and trust me I am taking all the advice givin here and started to apply it daily. I will let you know and will def take you up on your offer Kadensnga if necessary. It's night here in NZ so of to read meditate then start day 3 tomorrow. So far not as bad as previous going through the detox stage so hopefully feel even better tomorrow. It's not until you start to clear up that you realize how much life force energy and awareness alcohol takes from you. Even the colours outside seem that much more bright and obvious. It's only 2 days and the energy is totally different . I have been here before and know how easy it is to slip straight back so i'm being very carefull. Much better to have support like this ! thankyou.

Gary

[Kadensnga]

2 Days? Awesome.

Sounds like you are more focused on the benefits... the colors... than you are the pain. Stay that way my friend...keep focusing on what feels good and ignore what feels uncomfortable...continue to be about the business of creating more "comfort", by focusing on what feels good.

Much Love Bro. Rooting for you bigtime!

[zensunni7]

Be kind to yourself and re-member -
When you decide to tackle your alcoholism - you are tackling every alcoholic in your lineage too, creating the sensation of overwhelming task. If you can stop drinking for two days, you can do it forever. Your ' programmed ' to believe it to be a grueling pain filled experience - choose your own belief for the experience.

[Leila]

Dear Gary,
 
My heart is with you too, and I support you with my Love!
 
I am surprised that you have this "issue", because you seemed to me very centered and confident so far, in your expression. Always liked your approach and authenticity.
 
My opinion is that acknowledging to ourselves and "in public" our "false beliefs" is of tremendous help for moving forward. We are empowered. A burden lifts from our hearts, and we find out that it is not shameful to experience anything in this world. It's why we came here, to transcend the illusion. Next would be good to see that what we consider to be an affliction is actually only a limiting belief, and not our true nature.
 
May God help us all see the Truth of our perfection, and lead us toward the perfect health which is our birth right.
 
With best thoughts, friendship and Unconditional Love,
 
Leila

[juliainkc]

Good Evening All,

I am Harmonizing with the Loving support (InPowerment) and InCouragement being shared here with Gary and the ones whom at this time desire to remain unseen yet are very much paying attention here. Again, I appreciate you Gary. Heartfelt.

Beloved Darrell. Your words are filled with Divine Wisdom and Keen Insight, Clarity.

Be kind to yourself and re-member -
When you decide to tackle your alcoholism - you are tackling every alcoholic in your lineage too, creating the sensation of overwhelming task. If you can stop drinking for two days, you can do it forever. Your ' programmed ' to believe it to be a grueling pain filled experience - choose your own belief for the experience.
 

Gary, Darrell speaks Truth here. I feel this flowing for you as an affirmation. Thank you Darrell. Namaste. Healing is accomplished in the Present moment. This is Truth. Know for yourself if this is so.

Gary, while your mother is beyond the physical experience now, her Spirit lives on in you. She is in her 'God Spot' within you, her rightful place that is only hers to fill. No matter what way she filled it while still here or the way you saw her. Now, her Spirit is giving you the InSpiration (incentive) to do what she was not able to do herself here, her work was finished here and she agreed to this in her Divine Plan with the ONE and agreed that it would be through you her GOD SEED to further the Cause and so set in motion the Effects that will ripple throughout all 'time' to her future seed of which you are a part.

I say this with all LOVE, as my mother did the same for me and I know this now. So, I have made my peace with my mother and have been given Peace that remains, abides not leaving and coming and leaving and coming like once before. And with IT the Power and Strength to go on.

I had to forgive her and myself. I had to forgive myself for hating her at one point in my life experience and then coming to the realization that I had to forgive myself for loving her and wanting her to love me too which was a very hard and bitter pill for her to swallow. She no longer feels this way towards me. I know this with certainty as I have made my Peace with her and am again, given a Peace that is immoveable.

For some 'reason' I was Inspired to share this when I read Darrell's Love Note to you. We are all in this together. We are all Divinely Connected in this Endless Web of Life.

My Love overflows for you Gary and All whom are doing 'battle', take this water and drink and be refreshed and fight the fight to the finish and be the Crowning Victor of your Life.

Julia, your Sister in LOVEs LIGHT ~

[sativaguitar]

one more day to go then out of the 1st five days feeling great !the energy change is incredible. I keep having to get up at bizarre hours and going for long walks to use it. Greg Braden, Stuart Wilde , and healthy raw Vegan food , Meditation is all helping me get my balance back and I can really " feel " the energy . Now to stay this way for the rest of my time in this reality( thats the Key lol). I feel so free like a huge weight has been lifted... that horrible grinding stomach feeling of nerves and stress that I used to wake up with has gone. I can't believe the difference in that short a time. Once again thanks for the support . Gary